CHRISTIAN LOVES GAMMA

 

 

It's Monday morning here in Fresno, California and I am on my way to volunteer for one field trip at my grandson's school.  We are going to Story Land at Fresno Roeding park.  My 6 year old grandson is especially close to me.  He calls me all the time and loves spending time with me.  It feels so good to have a grandchild that adores you.  I am truly blessed to have him.  He is one tool I use to cope with not having my Jeannette in my life anymore.  She and I had a truly close relationship when she turned to me the day she felt like something was wrong with her.  She turned to me, her mom for comfort and support. 

 

 

 

ASHLEE AND LOREAL

This is a picture taken long ago.  It was in 2008.  They were so close.  Well at least Ashlee thought so.  She loved her cousin with all her heart. 
What happened to Loreal.  What did Ashlee do to her to just ignore her and never call her.  Why did Loreal choose to not be part of our family. 
The answer is:  Her grandfather devious brain washing that he is so clever at. 
Too bad she is weak minded.  Too bad she is missing out on having a loving auntie, cousins, grandma and other relatives.  Too bad her mother is not here to put her in check. 

SISTER AND BROTHER HAVING FUN

Ashlee and Christian having fun hanging out in my home the other day.  I love having them close to me. 

SHE WILL BE CALLING ME

Glad to know that my granddaughter, LoLo has a close bond with her dad, Monty.  I feel rest assured that he supports her and loves her.  LoLo will call me one of these days.  I know that for sure. 

MY LIFE AT A MUCH SLOWER PACE NOW

Enjoying my second day of retirement.  Have so much to do now and have all the time in the world.  How I would love to be able to go to see Jeannette and spend as much time with her as possible but that is not reality.  Reality is knowing I have her no more here on this earth.  What I do know is that I have another daughter named Diana and also a son named Daniel.  I love them so much and also my grandchildren who happen to love spending time with me.  Just the other day, my grandson, Christian who is 6 years of age kept calling me and crying saying he missed me and wanted to come over.  I live only five minutes from him so I drove over and picked him up and we went out and had fun.  I love him so much.  Just like I love all my grandchildren.  Some of which I never see or hear from but God is Great.  I know one day I will hear from them.  They will want to know more about their mom and I have plenty of stories to tell them. 

I MISS HER SO MUCH

She was so beautiful.  Didn't have to put much make-up on to look pretty.  Jeannette was beautiful inside and out.  She touched the lives of many people in a very positive way.  She was like a breath of fresh air.  I was excited when I knew she was coming to visit me in Fresno, California.  

I miss her so much

FLOWERS FOR MY JEANNETTE

She loved flowers.  All kinds of flowers.  Her favorite color was pink. 

Faith is where you close your eyes and open your heart, moving beyond the familiar and embracing the unknown

She certainly had faith.  Would close her eyes and open her heart to Jesus.

I still can hear her crying voice asking me for help and when I would pray, she calmed down for a bit.  She was a God fearing woman. 

My Jeannette is in Heaven. 

I LOST MY BELOVED JEANNETTE EILEEN ON THIS DAY

Three years ago on September 3, 2009 and on a Thursday afternoon at 3:35 p.m. in room 615 and at Community Memorial Hospital in Ventura, California, my precious Jeannette died.  Three years of grief at loosing the most amazing and wonderful daughter of mine. 

She is not suffering anymore.  No more surgeries, no more radiations, no more chemotherapy, no more medications and especially no more pain. 

Heaven is where she resides.  She is in glory and with our lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
My beloved Jeannette is waiting for me.  I know one day I will see her again.

My life has never been the same.  Some days  are real bad as I dwell in my grief and other times I am a peace.  Every single day I think of her and what could have been. 

If I could change back the hands of time I would buy her one more mint chip ice-cream and we would sit outside Baskin Robbins enjoying each others company while eating good ice-cream.  Before she died she told me that soon she would be well and that one thing for sure was that she wanted her and I to go to Baskin Robbins.   It happened to be in her hospital window view and right across the street from the hospital.  Sad to say her wish never came true.  Now, three years later, I do go to eat her favorite ice-cream and sit in my car listening to her favorite CD by Cher and cry all by myself.  Missing my baby.

HER SPECIAL LOVING FRIEND WROTE THIS POEM

I received a letter soon after the funeral.  It was from the closest friend that Jeannette had at work.  The friend sent me a poem that was given to Jeannette before she died.  The poem was sent to Jeannette via e-mail on January 27, 2009 at 7:18 P.M.  I am sure my beloved Jeannette was overjoyed at receiving the poem. 

I will share it with you.

JEANNETTE

Her love for life touched us all
When she came into any office she instantly lit up the room
Working with her you never heard her say no
No tasks did she ever turn down
Juggling four beautiful children and a demanding career would be enough to run
anyone down

No matter how tough the day was she always had that warm smile
She lent an ear to everyone

Always had time
Her laugh was infectious
She met so many things to so many of us
She was a friend to all
Even in her last days on this base she was working for others
She gave her everything to this base and to the friends she made there
She cared so much for people she barely knew
She leaves us all better for spending the short time we knew her
God saw in her what we all did
She was like a shooting star in all our lives
She flared in to the 146th
For seemingly a second her light brightened all our eyes
Then as quickly as she came in God took her back
He took the star away from all of us
Yet we all should be grateful for that momentary brightness that shown in your eyes

She was a dazzling rose in a garden
And a heart of gold
To say we will miss her is an understatement
She has etched a place in our hearts
She may not be a Commander
Or in charge of the Flight
But she did what all true leaders do
Lead by example
And loved being a member of the 146th

When she left us
When she first got sick
None of us here ever thought
Not for one second
That we would be saying goodbye to her
Her positive attitude always led us to believe other wise
Now that she has left it is all to hard to say good bye

But we must move on
With a heavy heart
And never forget
Her smile and her laugh
That warmed all our hearts

It is not good bye more like, Till We Meet Again, Jeannette

LOREAL, THE LOVING DAUGHTER

Jeannette's friends with her daughter, Loreal.  Loreal is the one in the black and white dress.  It was a picture she took on the week after her mother passed away.  I know she was hurting so much inside but put on a smile for the camera. 



 

TWO MORE DAYS TO THE DAY

Today is the start of another month of being without my dear beloved Jeannette.  My precious Nettle Poodle.  In two more days it will be 3 years that she died and went to Heaven.  Three years of profound grief.  Three years of wishing that I could wake up in the morning to find her here with me in my home.  Jeannette was everything to me.  Words can't express all the love I have for my beautiful daughter. 

I know she is in Heaven.  One day I will see her again.  My baby, my girl, my "Nettle Poodle."