A PROUD GRANDMOTHER

It is a fact.  I am the grandmother of 10.

 

I love all of them with all my heart.  My  arms are open waiting for them to come see me. 

 

God Bless them all. 

 

Ashlee, Loreal, Bianca, Mathew, Shane, Jacob, Nicholas, Conner, Christian and the baby, Melonie. 

WE LOVE OUR TORI

It was July 27, 2013.  The day of Tori, my niece's baby shower.  My sis Brenda and I sat together out on my father's front yard surrounded by big trees that gave us shade.  It was about 10:00 a.m. when we all gathered there for the joyous occasion.  Ashlee was the party planner and did an amazing job decorating the yard and trees with streamers and baby shower decorations.  The tables were covered in pastel colors to match up with the colors of pink and lavender which happened to be my niece, Tori favorite colors.  The food was good and also a big cake to fill our sweet tooth.  We played games such as baby shower bingo and toss the ball.  We all laughed so much.  Tori looked so radiant and beautiful wearing a cute frock dress that accentuated her large bulging baby bump.  When she stood up to have Ashlee measure her baby bump she giggled  and smiled for all of us to see.  Tori has and always will be a very special person in my heart.  I love her with all my might. 

Brenda and I shared some inside jokes and laughed so much.  We all have trials and tribulations and tons of issues going on in our lives but we put them all aside and in the back burner in order to focus on our Tori.  I JUST WISH MY NETTLE POODLE WAS WITH US. 

THE DAY SHE FOUND OUT

I REMEMBER HOW SAD MY JEANNETTE WAS ON THE DAY THE DOCTORS TOLD HER THE HORRIFIC NEWS THAT SHE HAD END STAGE BREAST CANCER.  NO, NO, NO, THIS COULD NOT BE HAPPENING TO MY BEAUTIFUL YOUNG DAUGHTER.  HOW COULD IT BE.  WHERE AND HOW DID IT HAPPEN.  I  HAVE BEEN ASKING MYSELF THAT FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS.  FOUR YEARS OF CRYING AND FEELING SO SAD TO HAVE LOST HER. 

I THANK GOD FOR MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS

RIP Miss Mary

Back in 2007 I had the pleasure of having a nice neighbor.  She was 76 years at the time.  One day as I was walking to my car we met.  She told me she was a widow and a former school teacher.  She lived an extreme healthy life style.  Everyday, she would walk 12 miles.  Six miles in the early morning and 6 miles in the evening.  She lived alone in a one bedroom house.  I admired how thin she was and how much stamina she had. 

She had a large family yet nobody came to visit her.  During Thanksgiving, she would travel long distance all the way to Kentucky to see some of her family.  Every holiday she was all alone and at times I felt sorry for her.  She lived very frugal.  One time she invited me into her home and it must have been 105 outside but inside her home it felt like as if I was in an oven.  I asked her if her air conditioner was working.  She said, "Oh, it works just fine however, I do not use it due to high electric bill."  I was stunned looking around her living room.  She had two formerly white sofas that were a lighter shade of beige and needed repair.  Her dining room table had one chair.  A flute leaned against her living room wall.  At times I could hear her playing her flute.  Lonely sad music.  She had plenty of income but chose to live so frugal.  She did decorate the outside of her house with beautiful plants surrounded by a second hand bench she found at a yard sale. 

I moved away six years ago.  Today, I found out she died on July 3, 2013.  I asked my friend what happened.  She told me that "Mary" fell down and broke her hip one day as she was walking on her second 6 mile of the day.  After that the Osteoporosis kicked in and left her hunched over almost all the way down to the floor.  She could not walk anymore.  Her family never came to see her but when Mary died, they all came down to take her remains to Kentucky.

I think about her and thank God I have a loving family and a bunch of friends that care about me.  I remember Jeannette and how we all showered her with love and wanted nothing more than to have her win her battle with cancer. 

I thank my God everyday that I am blessed.  Truly blessed.  Even though I no longer have my Nettle Poodle.

 

THE SCRAPBOOK IS COMPLETE

It was a pleasant and eventful day today in Fresno, California.  I finally finished my scrap book about Jeannette.  It took me almost 4 years to complete. 

Can't wait to see what the family thinks of it. 

Missing my Nettle Poodle. 

We Love Tori

so much love here

 

Our family loves Tori:

 

Time to get all the things ready for my niece (Tori) baby shower.  She is having a girl in October.  I am so happy for her.  She looks absolutely beautiful.  We are all traveling to Corcoran on Saturday morning.  It will be held at my dad's house. 

 

 My dad asked me if he could be attend.  That was funny.  I told him of coarse he could come and after all, it was his house. My dad is so cute.  He said he bought a mirror for Tori.  It was funny to me because who thinks of giving a mirror at a baby shower.  Like nobody.  hahaha. 

 

 

 Anyway, I am glad he wants to be with all of us.  So far the people attending are:  Ashlee, Bianca, Diana, Angela, Rene, Brenda, Dad, Tori's mother-in-law, Angela's daughter -in-law. and of coarse Me.  It will be fun.   I know if Jeannette were here she would go out on shopping spree and buy Tori's baby tons of things.  That is the way she was.  Such a giving and loving person, my Nettle. 

Tori and her little brother, Daniel.

 

 

MISSING MY NETTLE

Having my first cup of coffee right now.  It is already hot outside.   My phone rang about an hour ago as I was busy making my bed.  I imagined it was Jeannette calling me to say she was heading to Fresno to see me.  When I answered it the person the other end hung up.  I know one day I will see Jeannette again.  I will run to her with open arms and hug her so tight for so long. 

Life is sad without her.  Missing her so much today. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DAD.  HE IS 87 YEARS OLD TODAY.  LIVES IN CORCORAN, CALIFORNIA. BEEN THERE SINCE 1934.

I KNOW JEANNETTE WOULD HAVE TRAVELED FROM THOUSAND OAKS TO SEE HER GRANDFATHER ON HIS SPECIAL DAY.  THAT IS THE KIND OF DAUGHTER I HAD. 

THINGS THAT I COULD BE DOING

It is just another Friday night here in Fresno, California.  Same thing going on in my life.  As I sit here in front of this PC I realize there is so much more to do than to be alone here writing down my thoughts for the day.  I could be in Pismo with my friend but that means having to spend money for room, food, etc.  I could be in Corcoran visiting my dad but he goes to bed early and then I would just be sitting alone watching television at 8:00 p.m.  I could go down to visit my friend who lives not too far away but I am not in the mood to listen to all her negativity.  She is non stop complaining about the smallest things in her life.  Sometimes, as I listen to her I wonder to myself when is she going to run out of things to complain about but she never does.  I could go down to Baskin Robbins and get a mint chip ice-cream and sit in my car eating it while listening to Jeannette's favorite songs but then all I will do is get myself into deep grief and cry my eyes out. 

I am not in the mood for any of the above.  I shall make myself some coffee and relax and read a book.  Oh, here it is right next to me.  My Bible.  Thank You Jesus. 

I AM LOST WITHOUT MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER

She was absolutely beautiful.  She loved shopping and buying herself cute clothes, etc.  Her favorite day was Saturday.  All day long she could be with her 4 precious children who simply adored her.  They all looked forward to weekends spent with their amazing loving mommy.  She called me just about every week asking about her sister and brother and the rest of the family.  I enjoyed talking to her by phone and now I just wish I could have gone to visit her more often. 

That damn breast cancer took her from me.  She fought the breast cancer with all her might.  But in the end she lost her battle.  Breast cancer sucks.   I am currently trying to cope with my grief.  I am lost without my beautiful Jeannette. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO

Happy Birthday to my dear brother Sam.  He lives way out in the east coast.  Had the pleasure of seeing him a few weeks ago when he came down with his family.  I am so proud of him.  He is a God fearing man.  Jeannette loved her uncle Sam.  What little time spent with each other was so cherished.  Sam gave Jeannette good advice when she was growing up.  Now, he gave good advice to Ashlee regarding the Navy.  If Jeannette were here I am sure she would have made special trip to see her uncle.  I just bet that her and I would have flown to Baltimore to surprise him and his special day. 

JEANNETTE WOULD BE SO PROUD OF BIANCA

This is my 18 year old granddaughter.  Her name is Bianca.  She graduated this year and is attending Fresno State University. 

Jeannette would be so proud of her niece.  She was very close to Bianca and gave her advice about education, life, etc.  That is the kind of auntie she was. 

 

I LOVE ALL MY GRANDCHILDREN. ALL 10 OF THEM.

On this very hot Saturday morning I am here drinking my first cup of coffee and looking at my calendar to see what I have planned for the day.  I already managed to drive my granddaughter to Fresno State University for her Orientation before summer school starts.  She was excited and kept telling me how she was going to make me proud.  I looked at her and told her I was already proud of her accomplishments.  I just love my grandchildren.  All of them.  Ashlee, Loreal, Bianca, Melony,  Mathew, Shane, Conner, Jacob, Nickolas and Christian.  They are in my heart forever. Grandchildren are gifts from God.

Jeannette's kids are almost 4 years older now.  I pray they never forget their mommy. 

MEMORIES OF JEANNETTE'S 7TH BIRTHDAY

It was the early 80's.  My best friend and I at Me n Ed's Pizza celebrating Jeannette's birthday.  We used two cars to transport all of the kids to the pizza party.  Jeannette was having her first sleep over and had invited 8 of her friends.  After the pizza we all headed back home.  I played music and the girls all danced around laughing and stuff.  I remember in the morning I made pancakes, bacon and eggs and then off they went to their individual homes.  All except for one little girl.  I forgot her name but she asked me if I could be her mommy because she loved everything about me.  Jeannette kept begging me to please let her stay and so they could become sisters.  It was funny at the time to me but now I realize I must have been one heck of a good mom.  Anyway, I called the little girl's mom and told her what her daughter had said to me.  The mom told me that she was busy and going out of town and could I take care of her for two weeks.  I thought about it at first and then declined.  I felt at the time that I was not in anyway capable of taking on another child.  I had no child support coming in and only relied on my small paycheck to get us by.  Reluctantly, I had to tell Jeannette that her friend could not live with us.  Jeannette was sad at first but forgot all about the situation because she was just a little girl and something else caught her attention.  Her big sister was going for a bike run and she went with her. 

 

TAKE ME WITH YOU LORD

I love this painting.  It really touches my heart.  Jeannette went with God to Heaven.  Her hair grew long again.  No more pain and no more doctors, medicines, therapy, x-rays, cat scans, bone scans and Chemo.  No, more nothing. 

I wonder why they haven't found a cure for breast cancer.  I also wonder how she got breast cancer at such a young age.  She had her whole life ahead of her.  Her children were the up most important thing in her life.  Her days were filled with love for them.  Each one of them.  Loreal, Mathew, Shane and Conner.  I hope and pray they never forget their mommy. 

CHRISTIAN GOT HIS WISH

"No, Gamma, I want my very own box.  No, I don't want to go to Water World or Chuckchansi Park to watch big fireworks. "

Christian is my 6 year old grandson.  Has a mind of his own.  So, naturally, I took him to the local fireworks stand and bought him some.  He can hardly wait for tonight.  Every year he knows I will be there to make him happy.  I choose to do that for him.  He is being raised by single parent and I help out as much as I can.  Love him so much.

The only thing that would be perfect today would be to have Jeannette here in Fresno enjoying the day with me and rest of family. 

I miss her on this 4th day of July, 2013.