I WAS A PROTECTIVE MOTHER

Today is the last day of July, 2014.  Another month ends without her.  There are days in my life now that when I think of her I either cry some or smile.  It's all in the memories that come to my mind.  Remembering today about how she was as a little girl.  I guess I must have been over protective because I remember making her hold my hand most of the time especially when we went out to the shopping centers, etc.


 Today, as I was shopping in a discount store I came across a little girl that must have been about 5 years of age.  She was alone and in the middle of a store isle crying her head off.  I stopped and questioned her as to where was her mommy.  She said she didn't know so I gently got ahold of her hand and told her I would walk her to the cashier and see if she could find her mommy.  She was trembling and kept shedding tears as we approached the cashier.


 The cashier was nice and announced on the intercom that there was a little girl lost and would the mother please come up to the station 5 cashier station.  I waited with the little girl.  A boy that looked to me about 12 years of age came up and yanked and pulled  the little girl's hand and said, "Boy, are you gonna get it." "Mom is going to spank you when we get home."  Then he walked away with the little girl.


  I stood there and thought to myself what kind of a mother would do something like that.  If it was me I would have ran right up to Jeannette and held her and wiped her tears if she would have been lost.  That incident was disturbing to me and as I drove home I thought about Jeannette and how much I loved her and wished to God she was a little girl again so I could have her in my car.


 Of coarse all strapped down on the car seat. 

BLESSINGS

What a beautiful day the Lord has given us.  It is Monday and there are so many things going on this week but first of all I want to wish my family and friends a day full of blessings from God.


Yesterday as I hung out with my daughter, Diana we couldn't stop talking about Jeannette.  Diana told me that Jeannette loved it when she went to visit her in Thousand Oaks during her battle with breast cancer.  They got a chance to reconnect and discuss their lives, etc.  It was a good trip. 


We miss Jeannette everyday of every year.  She never leaves us. 

TRUTH BE TOLD

I was moving things around today and happened to come across a box full of things from Jeannette's funeral in 2009.  As I sat down to read her obituary I realized it's packed with so many lies.  The person in charge of giving information to the newspaper at that time was her father.  I guess he thought nobody would ever find out all the lies but here I am exposing them all to the public.  Jeannette deserves this honesty. 


In red is what was written and my response is in black. 




Jeannette Hanrahan passed away peacefully at the age of 37 on September 3, 2009, with her husband and parents by her side.


Jeannette Hanrahan passed away in pain, her heart was beating at a high rate of speed due to the pain medication that was unjustly given to her at higher doses than normal all at the request of her husband and father.  Her husband and father and step mother were not at her bedside as they were off and away from the hospital until the Hospice nurse called them because the time was getting close.






Jeannette is survived by husband Patrick and children Loreal, Matthew, Shane and Conner.  Her father, Daniel Rocha, second mom, Petra Rocha, mother Gloria Balderama, brother Daniel Rocha and wife Marisol, step-brother Richard Hernandez, sister Diana Rocha and many nieces and nephews.  In-laws Tim and Colleen Hanrahan, Brian and Shaun, Shannon and her husband Luis Magana.  Jeannette will always be remembered as "Daddy's Little Girl."


Jeannette is survived by her children, Loreal, Mathew, Shane and Conner.  By her mother, Gloria Rocha, her brother Daniel and his wife Marisol and children, Jacob, Nicholas. She is also survived by her loving sister, Diana and her children, Ashlee, Bianca and Christian and many loving Balderama family members. 


All the rest of the people that were mentioned did not give a shit about her.  They went on about their lives during her battle with cancer and never supported her or came around to offer help.  Jeannette didn't like her in=laws.  Never did.   Jeannette's father and step mother went along with whatever Patrick Hanrahan said.  They never questioned his authority during Jeannette's last days in the hospital.  She was not "Daddy's Little Girl."  She was a grown woman and was smart enough to know all her dad's scams, etc.  She moved far away from him to get away and not be like him.  Jeannette's step-mother was not her second mom.  She was nothing to Jeannette.  Jeannette complained to me about how her step-mom would make faces when Jeannette needed her help, etc.  


The people that truly loved her were her Balderama family and her friends and co-workers. 


Jeannette might be forgotten by her husband and his family, her father and his wife but not by me.  I think of her everyday.  I hope to see her in Heaven one day.  She just might tell me, "Ma, thank you for telling the truth. " 

SHE WAS FIVE

It was 1976 in Fresno, California.  As I held her little hand while walking into the mall at Fashion Fair she said, "Mommy, I am big now and can I pick out my dress today."  She was five years of age but had the mind of an older child and maybe it was because her older sister and brother were a big influence in her young life at the time.  She let go of my hand at JC Penny store and ran over to all the pretty dresses, tops and shorts hanging on the racks.  Picking out a pink dress and almost pushing it onto my face she said, "This one mommy, I want this one."  It was exactly her size.  A size 6.  I took a quick look at the price and noticed it was marked down from $15.00 to $10.99.  Jeannette pressed the cute pink dress close to her little heart and said, "Please, Mommy."  Of coarse I bought it and she wore it to church the following Sunday. 

4th of July without Her.

Tomorrow will be a day of celebration.  Fireworks, etc.  For the past five years I have spent 4th of July without my Jeannette.  It is bittersweet because I will be out enjoying the day with my family but Jeannette will not be with us.


Missing her so much.

MA, LET'S GO TO THE BEACH

It's already hot here in Fresno, California.  I am currently sipping on some cold sweet tea as I sit here entering this post on my beloved Jeannette's blog.  Yesterday was unbearable as the temperature reached 107.  Wish Jeannette was here with me because I know she would be telling me to pack up cause we are going to the beach.  She loved to travel and see the world.  I would make every excuse for not being able to go and she would not hear of it.  She insisted on it and I always gave in.  There is nobody here on this earth like her.  She was unique. 


Missing my Nettle Poodle