MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MY JEANNETTE IN HEAVEN

 Merry Christmas to all my fans that read my blog.  It really means a lot to me that you all care to know about my Jeannette.  My MSgt. Jeannette will never be forgotten.  My heartfelt appreciation to all of you from around the world.  I pray that we find a cure for Breast Cancer so that beautiful, loving, good people like Jeannette will not die and leave behind children and a mother like myself that has experienced profound grief. 


People say, "Hey Gloria, why don't you just move on, afterall it's already over five years since Jeannette died."  


They do not understand the relationship I had with her.  They don't know how difficult it is to spend the rest of my life without her.  Especially holidays like today.  Memories fill my mind of all the previous precious times Jeannette spent on this earth.  She splurged on gifts for everyone and always hugged us ever so tight wishing us all a Merry Christmas.  How can I forget her.  Well never, ever, ever. 


As I sit here in my room on this Christmas morning and after witnessing the joy of my grandchildren opening their gifts, I am trying to cope with not having Jeannette here with me.  I bet if she was, she would have already made a mad dash to Star Bucks to get us coffee and Vente size.  Jeannette was always looking out for everyone and trying to make their lives better.  She had my blood in her veins.  That is a fact!

SHE WENT TO SEE HER GRANDPARENTS

  Great morning here in Fresno, California.  Time to finish up my Christmas shopping and prepare for December 25, 1014.  Time will be spent in Corcoran, California at my father's house.  He called me yesterday and stated he was lonely and wanted me to come over.  I live 50 miles away and had too much going on so I told him for sure I would be there on Christmas Day.  We talked on the phone for almost an hour.  Mama died in 2009 on Christmas Day and I think that is why my dad is feeling lonely.  Jeannette loved her grandparents so much that even though she was in pain and on so many medications, she made a special trip to Corcoran, California to visit them and attend their church.  Jeannette was welcomed with open arms by everyone as soon as she arrived. 


I am forever grateful for my Jeannette to have made such a trip. 

MISSING RENE

  Saturday night here in Fresno, California.  I wish Jeannette was here with us.  We are all comfy on the couch and drinking her favorite drink which was chocolate.   Watching a good movie just like we did years back in Jeannette's home in Thousand Oaks.  It was one of her favorite things to do.  I have a feeling she is welcoming my cousin Rene who died on December 3, 2014.  I always told Rene that if she were to go to Heaven to please hug my Jeannette and tell her how much I miss her.  I didn't realize she would die so soon.  Yesterday was her funeral and as expected, there were so very many people that knew and loved her in attendance.  I miss Rene so much.  Most Saturdays were spent with her.  She was so much fun to be with. 


Now, she is spending Christmas in Heaven. 

JEANNETTE LOVED HER DAUGHTER

There was nothing better that Jeannette loved than to be with her LoLo.  She was always worried about her even during her last days in the hospital.  She told me to check her appointment book and see if LoLo had a dental appointment.  I did and told her yes.  Then Jeannette told me to call Pat and remind him of the appointment to check LoLo braces.  I stood there in front of her with my body trembling as I watched her in so much horrific pain.  In the middle of the pain she would call out to me and ask if LoLo went to her dental appointment.  I reassured her that yes she had gone.  Jeannette wanted her daughter to have everything wonderful that life could bring.  Even it meant thousands of dollars on LoLo's teeth. 


During the months before and right after Christmas, Jeannette gathered all her gift cards that she received from family and wonderful friends and headed straight to the mall.  Walking ever so slowly and in slight pain at the time she made it to the front door of Macy's Department store.  Walking behind her was her LoLo.  I held onto Jeannette's hand as she made her way to the teen department of the store.  She picked out a top and pants and called LoLo over to see if she like them.  LoLo nodded no to her.  I looked at LoLo with a face as if to say "yes". 


By the end of the time at Macy's, Jeannette had managed to use up all the $600.00 worth of gift cards.  She spent them all on her LoLo. 


I pray that Loreal never forgets how much her mama loved her.  

RENE WENT TO HEAVEN TODAY

 At 9:48 a.m. my dear cousin Rene took her last breath.  Another loved one I lost due to breast cancer.  She was cancer free six months ago and had come to see me to tell me the exciting news.  I was so happy for her at that time however, later during and about a couple of weeks after, she started to feel tired. 


During the month of May she began to have headaches and pressure.  Then shortly after, her energy level had dropped.  She barely had enough to celebrate her birthday in June.  After June, something was always up.  She began to tell me how she was going in for tests, etc. 


Today, she is in Heaven and with my Jeannette.  I am so heart broken.  Rene was so special to me.  We were like sisters. 


So, here I am once again experiencing such profound grief.  So sad.