HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA

Tomorrow will be my mama's birthday.  She is in Heaven with Jeannette since December 25, 2009 and exactly three months after Jeannette died.  Oh how I miss my mama and Jeannette so very much.  They both would be very happy to know everyone in the family here on earth is doing fine.  Everyone except me.  I miss them so much.  Wish I could hug and kiss my mama and say "Happy Birthday"  but I can't anymore.  All I have are memories of all the years past that I would drive to Corcoran with the family and meeting mama in church.  My car was filled with presents, balloons and a big cake for her.  She loved all the attention.  So, right now I smile when I think of all the sweet birthdays I spent with mama.  I will see her one day.  Yes, her and Jeannette. 

MAMA WAS ANXIOUS TO GO TO HEAVEN

 Everytime I see this picture it reminds me of my mother and how much she wanted to go see Jesus.  She was anxious during her last hours of life here on earth.  We witnessed her right arm reaching up as if to get ahold of God's hand as she lay in her hospital bed.  It was the evening of December 25, 2009 when she died.  My mom is dearly missed and especially during this time.  May 31st. will be her birthday.  A birthday she will be spending in Heaven and exactly where she always longed to be.  Missing her so much.


She is with my beloved Jeannette.

MY MAMA

This is a picture of my beloved mother.  Jeannette's grandmother. 
I have been thinking of mama since at the end of this month of May would have been her birthday. 


When I was a little girl my mama worked at a shoe store.  I do not know how she managed to do it but she saved enough money to buy me an Easter outfit which consisted of a pink dress, shoes, pretty ruffled socks, petticoat and along with white gloves and a little purse.  She said it was all for church.  At the tender age of 8 years of age, I walked all the way to the church by myself and wore my beautiful outfit.  I was so very happy and content.  That is the kind of mom I had.  She always thought of her children first.  I believe Jeannette was exactly like her.  She loved her children so very much. 


Mama is missed so very much.  

THINKING OF HER DURING MY DIFFICULT SITUATION

 12 days ago I was misdiagnosed by a doctor and prescribed meds that had no effect and so I went and got second opinion and my doctor was right, it was not a spider bite on my face.  Now on the way to recovery and praying no scars.  What an emotional time for me not knowing what was going on with my face.  Thanks to God I am doing well.  During my days filled with anxiety I thought about Jeannette.  She was first diagnosed with a pectoral muscle inflammation and given anti inflammatory meds.  After a month she was not getting better and so she confided in one important person in her life, ME.  She came to me on Mother's Day and after touching the lump I begged her to get second opinion ASAP.  She did, and that is when my whole world came tumbling down.  She had breast cancer and almost end stages.  Her remaining days on this earth were filled with love for her children.  I pray they never forget how much their mommy loved them. 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Happy Mother's Day!  


Mother's Day began for me early this morning around 4:00 a.m.  I was awake and just laying in bed next to my little lamp as it lit every page of the book I am currently reading.  Yes, I admit, I love to read and write journals and yes, sometimes I get up early just to read.  At breakfast time my daughter, Diana came to me with a big cup of coffee and pancakes fresh off the griddle.  She said to me, "Here, Ma, I made this for you in honor of Mother's Day."  I was pleasantly surprised and quickly sat up to adjust my pillows just so and began to drink my coffee.  I thanked her as she went back to the kitchen to continue cooking for her own children.  It was a beautiful moment in time for me. 


At around 10:00 I received a phone call from my son and immediately heard the sound of my grandchildren's voices singing me "Happy Mother's Day".  After they were done they all wanted to talk on the phone with me.  My son came over moments later and brought me a beautiful gift and off he went with his three children to celebrate the day with his wife.  It was an awesome moment in time.


The only thing that can make this day better is to have my Jeannette here like she did every year.  2008 was the last time she came here to Fresno to visit me.  I can't believe it was  7 years ago.  I can look back and know we shared a mother/daughter love like no other. 


Happy Mother's Day to my daughter in Heaven.  She was mommy to Loreal, Mathew, Shane and Conner.  She tried with all her might to hang on, to stay longer, to be with them.  I hope they never forget that. 

MORNING PRAYERS

  On this Monday morning in May, 2015, I look out the front window of my home and wonder how everyone that I love is doing this morning.  I pray that my granddaughters are not too anxious about college finals and also think about my daddy who happens to be almost 88 years of age.  I pray he is waking up with no bone pain and is already eating his morning breakfast.  I think about my grandchildren and wonder how Loreal is doing in college, how Mathew is doing in military and how the boys, Shane and Conner are doing in school.  I also think of Jacob, Nick, Christian and Melanie.  Hope and pray they are happy and having fun today.  Most of all, I think of my son and daughter and my beloved Jeannette.  I wonder how mornings are in Heaven.  I do know she is very happy with God.

Another new month without her

 Start of another new month.  Once again I am without my Jeannette.  I wake up without her and I go to sleep without her.  Nothing can bring her back to me.  I can cry all day long but she will not come back.  I can stay home and feel sad or I can do as she would like me to do.  Go out and enjoy life with family and friends.  Tonight I am heading out to celebrate a friend's birthday. 


Missing my Jeannette everyday.