Wednesday, March 23, 2016

NECKLACE AND WEDDING RING

 It is a beautiful Wednesday here in Fresno, California.  The sun is out and all this tends to make me happy.  I think about Jeannette and wonder if she is with my dear mother in Heaven.


When I was growing up, my mother had a ring she never took off.  It was the only ring I ever saw her wear.  She wore is when she swept, when she mopped, when she made her large mound of golden flour tortillas, when she sewed buttons on my dad's shirts and when she washed clothes on the rubboard. 


She didn't really have any other jewelry. The years passed.  Mama toiled around at home keeping it clean and my dad worked long hours in the cotton fields of Corcoran, California.  Eventually, when I turned 12 years of age, I started making tortillas for the whole family and helped my mother around the house but my dad never had help working out in the fields.  He never complained. 


After my mother died in 2009, my father gave to me the ring that mom wore all her life.  It was her wedding ring.  The ring she cherished so much is now wrapped in a soft cloth and tucked away in a beautiful tiny box and hidden in my bedroom.  I cherish it too.  I also cherish times spent in Corcoran with my dad.  He is alone now and does not have to work out in the fields anymore.  Lives on his Social Security and is in good health, thanks to God. 


Jeannette had a necklace she cherished and almost at the end of her life, she gave it to me. 


It is wrapped in a soft cloth along with my mom's ring in a beautiful tiny box and hidden away. 


Missing my Jeannette and my dear mama.  Someday, I will see them again.  Someday, I too will leave the necklace and wedding ring to my daughter Diana. 



Tuesday, January 19, 2016

FOCUS ON GOD

  Be glad and rejoice:
                                  for the Lord will do great things.
                                          Joel: 2:21 KJV




There are evil people that I know that focus on "Money" instead of God.  As much as they try to throw shade on me it never works.  People know the real me.  I focus on God and my family.


No matter what others try to do, God is on my side. 


I hope they read this post and get a wake up call before it's too late.  Focus on God. 

Rain and thoughts of her

  It is raining so much today here in Fresno, California on this Tuesday morning.  Thoughts of Jeannette run through my mind.  Happy thoughts of her as a young teen.  Jeannette running in the rain to my car as I picked her up from school.  She would jump into the back seat and immediately begin to take off her jacket, shoes and socks and say, "Ma, let's go to Jack in the Box."  Of coarse I would and then afterwards yell at her to put on her shoes before she stepped out of the car and into the house.  She almost never listened and within a couple of days would complain of a sore throat.  I guess I was very lenient and made her days happy and carefree. 


As I reflect and days gone by, I smile knowing I was the best mom to her that I could possibly be during her teen years. 


Missing my Nettle Poodle.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

FEELING HER LOVE ALL THE WAY FROM HEAVEN.

  Today is my birthday.  I am super excited about my birthday party and seeing all my family and friends come together to celebrate with me.  The only thing that is sad is that Jeannette won't be attending because she is rejoicing in God's Kingdom in Heaven.  I smile knowing she is not in pain anymore.  If she were here today I know that she would be in charge of the entire party.  She loved setting up tables, decorations, and above all else, being here with her mommy.  She loved me so much.  I can still feel her love all the way from Heaven. 

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

PRAY

 It's raining this morning here in Fresno, California.  Thinking about Jeannette and wishing she was here right now to have a hot cup of coffee and chit chat before I leave for work.  There is so much I would want to tell her.  So many good things are happening in my life at the start of 2016.  My prayers are being answered.  Thinking positive and praying the rest of this year is good.


THANK YOU GOD FOR THE RAIN TODAY 

Thursday, December 31, 2015

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016

 Thank You to all my fans on my blog from around the world.  Thank you for giving to me your time to read my blog about my beloved Jeannette.  This blog has really helped me to cope with the loss of her.  In the beginning it was so difficult for me to put words in writing because I was emotional and could not cope with her loss.  It was years ago that I started to self medicate with this blog.  I do not quite understand it but just writing about her really has helped me.  So again, thank you all from the bottom of my heart.  MAY 2016 BRING YOU ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD.


Tonight a group of close friends will meet up to help ring in the new year.  Last year I stayed home but made a vow to myself to never do that again due to all the gun fire when the clock struck 12:00 and the new year rang in.  Tonight, I will be enjoying my friends company and listening to music and especially not hearing the gun fire. 


Jeannette loved celebrating New Year's Eve and would call me on January 1st and tell me all about the fun she had the night before.  I know she will not be calling me tomorrow morning so I  made up my mind to think positive.  I will imagine Jeannette in Heaven with Jesus and rejoicing and especially in no pain.  My daughter will be smiling.


I will smile tomorrow morning when I think of her. 


HAPPY NEW YEAR

Saturday, December 5, 2015

SHE LOVED US ALL

Saturday and still in my PJ's enjoying my third cup of coffee here in my comfy home in Fresno, California.  I live in the middle of town on a quiet street full of big beautiful trees that are shedding leaves all over the neighborhood.  It is a street that had the privilege of having Jeannette visit it one day in 2008.  She walked into the home and immediately wanted to know which were her nieces bedrooms as she made her way down the hallway.  Bianca and Ashlee smiled and hugged their loving auntie as she told them that she was going to Bed Bath n Beyond and buying them the whole set for their bedrooms.  Before I could blink an eye, all three were in her big SUV heading down the street and to the store.  They returned holding big bags of comforters, sheets, pillows and accessories for their individual bedrooms.  Jeannette told me that her biggest joy in life was making her family happy. 

During her last Thanksgiving in Fresno she expressed to all of us how much she loved us.  Just having her at the dinner table smiling back at me made me happy.  I knew she didn't eat nothing on her plate and I also knew she was in pain but I had to hide my tears in order not to spoil her hidden battle going on inside her body so that she could make all the family believe she was "Just Fine," when they asked her how she was.  My beautiful daughter, oh how I miss her.  She loved all her friends, family and especially our living God. 

That is why she lives in Heaven now.