MY BEAUTIFUL JEANNETTE

2012 almost gone and 2013 on the way.  I will never forget Jeannette.  No not never.  2013 and many more if God permits.  I shall always and forever have her close to my heart. 

JEANNETTE SAYS DO NOT CRY FOR ME

Jeannette was a picture of beauty.  Everywhere she went she left some of her beauty behind.  I miss her so much and I sure wish I could be celebrating New Years Eve with her.   Diana says she dreamed of Jeannette and that in the dream Jeannette told her to tell me not to cry for her because she was so happy with God in Heaven.  As Diana was telling me about this we were both crying. 

When I think back to 2008/2009 I remember witnessing Jeannette in extreme pain and the profound sadness that I could not help her at all.  Nobody could take the pain away.   My Jeannette is free at last.  Free with God and no more pain. 

MY CHERISHED GIFT FROM ASHLEE

Ashlee calls me Grandmother Willow because just like in the movie, "Pocahantas", the tree had so much wisdom.  Anyway, during the opening of our gifts on Christmas morning I found this heart stopping letter inside a card that she gave me.  I became emotional and crying tears of joy.   This here letter means more to me than the Michael Kors purses, more than any gift that I recieved.  I stood up and hugged her so tight.  She is such a good young lady.  Has a heart of gold just like Jeannette did.  I am proud and blessed to have a beautiful granddaughter that not only goes to school, work but also goes to church.  She loves her family and at times mentions her grandpa whom she has not seen or heard from in years and who happens to live in same town and only few miles away.  What a shame on that man.   

Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013

Today is the last day of December, 2012.  Three years have come and gone since my beloved Jeannette passed away.  It seems like just yesterday that I was driving in the dark freeway from Ventura, California crying my eyes out.  I do not know how I made it home.  It was all a blur.  Jeannette was pronounced dead on September 3, 2009.  I was standing next to her hospital bed in complete shock that I lost my daughter.  I cried so many tears.   I thought about her children not having a mom anymore.  I hurt me so much.  Still does. 

Life goes on and if it wasn't for my family helping me through it all I just do not know what would have become of me. 

I look forward to 2013.  I look back on 2012.  A year of happiness since the birth of my baby girl grandchild named Melanie.  She looks like Jeannette. 

I will continue to love and cherish my family.  My son and daughter, my grandchildren, my dad, sisters, brothers, cousins, etc.  After all, that is what life is all about.  Family!!  Too bad my children's father chooses to be out of their lives and instead drinking and gambling his life away.  Hope 2013 brings him what he deserves. 

Jeannette will not never be forgotten!!!!

 

HAVE TO BE READY

As my birthday draws near I think about this poster I found on Internet.  It makes alot of sense..  I am privileged to have lived so long.  Longer than my dear Jeannette.  She was way too young to die.  I remember crying out to God telling him to please let me take her place.  I know now that God has a plan for all of us.  We have to be ready and ask forgiveness for all our sins so that we can go to Heaven. 

A MESSAGE TO JEANNETTE'S GRANDMOTHER

Mama, we three came together today to visit you at your resting place at the Corcoran Cemetery.   Ron and Brenda and me.  Three years have gone by since you died on Christmas Night.  It was a night I shall never forget.  I just couldn't handle loosing Jeannette and then you only three months later.  By the grace of God, I made it through.

 Mama, you left behind children that love you, grandchildren that adored you, great grandchildren that never got a chance to know you and above all else, you left Daddy, a most loving husband you had for over 63 years.  You were his right hand and you kept up on the house and bills, etc.  Your son, Sam, had to show dad how to pay bills and make out checks.  Your daughter, Brenda took over the household chores.  Believe me mama, she works so hard to clean and also take care of Dad.  She is one child you never thought would step up to the plate but she did and we all appreciate all that she does for Dad.  Mama, Ron is doing good and is having an awesome relationship with God.  He has been blessed in so many many things.

So many things have happened during these past three years since we lost you.   Your precious Spencer is daddy's best friend and keeps him good company.  It is so good to know dad is not alone. 

Mama, please tell Jeannette that she is so missed and that I know one day I will see you and her again. 

Love you so much.  I shall never forget your most famous words.  "Everyone look at Me."  You were so funny and at the same time so much wisdom.  I really miss our daily telephone calls. 

Love You

 

CHRISTMAS, THREE YEARS LATER

Christmas Morning here in Fresno, California.  Memories of long ago forever embedded in my mind.  I can still see Jeannette holding Loreal just like in this painting.  She loved her children with all her heart.  Each child had a special time with her.  Loreal, Mathew, Shane and Conner. 

She was amazing and beautiful and had the most loving heart.  The children are getting older now.  Loreal, Mathew, Shane and Conner.  I love all of them with all my heart.  I pray they will never forget their mom.   She is their Guardian Angel now. 

I am off to our family Reunion in Corcoran.  Today is the day my mother died  three years ago.  She left this world and joined Jeannette three months after Jeannette died.   I miss both of them. 



 

RAINING HERE AND MEMORIES OF HER

Raining here in Fresno, California today.  My house is warm and comfortable and I have music playing as I walk around picking things up and cleaning my home.

I was remembering Christmas of 2008.

Jeannette came that year to Fresno.  She was on pain medicines, etc. but managed to gather enough strength to drive down from Thousand Oaks, California.  The weather was cold and so she had on her sweater, scarf and coat when she arrived.  I noticed a slight cough and asked her about it.  She seemed to ignore my question and just kept on talking about how much fun she wanted to have with me.  Pobresita mija, she always wanted for me not to stress about her.  "Ma, come on let's go see Diana, "she said with a kinda rough sounding voice.  We all hanged out together and went to the movies and then after out to dinner.  This memory is with me always.  I wish I could have her back with me and that she had won her battle with cancer. 

I MISS MY NETTLE POODLE

I have been through the worst storm of my life.  Loosing Jeannette was and still is so painful.  I have asked God why.  As I go through these last days of 2012 I wonder to myself what 2013 has in store for me.  Only God knows. 

It is a nice chilly morning here in Fresno, California.  I woke up to find the little gingerbread house sitting on top of my coffee table.  My grandson made it for me and delivered it to me yesterday.  He also made me a paper reindeer.  So cute.  I cherish this more than any other gifts I will receive for Christmas.   I went shopping yesterday for my brand new baby granddaughter's Christmas gift.  Walked into the Carters store in River park shopping mall and the cute dresses with little sweaters caught my eye.  Jeannette would have been so excited and probably would have yelled out to me, "Look Ma, this is so darn cute."  She loved shopping and especially at Christmas time.  Gosh, I wish she was here right now with me.  It really breaks my heart.  Got to end this post for now.  Too much crying to handle.  Sorry!

SHE LOVED CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

 

 

 

She would have been out and about experiencing this holiday season.  Excited about Christmas.  I imagine just like this picture.  She was always a sharp dresser and had so many clothes, shoes and handbags.  Always the lastest styles.  Such a beautiful young mother of four.  A heart of gold.  Yes, it would be a joyous fun time for me just knowing she was healthy and happy. 

Three years ago she left this earth.  Only three months before Christmas. 

 

 

 

 

IT HAPPENED ALL AT ONCE

It happened all at once for me on Mothers Day of 2008.  She arrived in Fresno looking like a million bucks.  Stunning and Beautiful.  Yes, it was my Jeannette and she was eager to spend time with me, her mom and that special day.  We all packed into her SUV and headed to Valentines restaurant to eat a big breakfast.  It was the whole family which included Diana, Daniel, Ashlee, Bianca, Christian, Jacob, Maria and Nicholas. 

She received a disturbing phone call right in the middle of her meal.  It was her co-worker.  She informed Jeannette that her boss had died.  Needless to say, Jeannette was upset and I tried to calm her down.  We went outside and I talked to her and told her to focus on all the good times she shared with her boss and that he was in Heaven.  She calmed down a bit and we went inside to finish our meal.  She didn't eat much after that.

It was in the parking lot when she told her sister Diana, that I wanted her to see a doctor as soon as possible due to a lump on her upper right side of her chest.  Diana felt the lump and she said, "Yes, Jeannette, go see a doctor fast."  We didn't want to scare her anymore so we all got back into the car and headed to Diana's house.  We hanged out watching movies, laughing and just enjoying each other's company.  Then Jeannette headed back home.  Before she left she hugged me especially tight and promised me she would see a different doctor because she had already gone to Kaiser and the doctors there told her it was a pectoral muscle inflamed and that she was too young for a mammogram. 

Next day is when all hell broke loose.  Everything happened all at once. 

I am actually surprised I haven't had a heart attack from all this.  Loosing my daughter is the most devastating thing that could have ever happened to me. 

THE SONGS, THOSE SONGS, REMIND ME OF HER

Everyday, Anytime of the day, I think of my beautiful daughter that I miss so very much.  I listen to songs on the radio as I travel down the streets of Fresno, California and each time there it is.  I remember something she did, something she said, that reminds me of her in each song I listen to.  Before long I have tears flowing down my cheeks.  As I wipe them away, my granddaughter who is with me turns to me and tells me, "Grandma, you must be thinking of Auntie again, huh."  She knows as well as the rest of my family that I have suffered the most profound loss of all, the loss of my daughter. 

JEANNETTE'S NIECE TURNS 18

Bianca and Ashlee 2012

Bianca will be 18 years of age on Saturday.  On that day, she will be in the Annual Christmas Parade in Fresno, California.  She is a cheerleader at Fresno High School.  After the parade we are having a big surprise party for her.  I am very proud of Bianca.  She not only is beautiful but also smart and has already been applying to colleges.  She is a senior. 

How sad to know her low life grandfather does not care about his own family.  He will die one day a bitter old man with no family at his side. 
 

MY BROTHER AND HIS WIFE

It was 1969.  We were in Santa Cruz, California and at the Boardwalk.  My brother and his wife had accompanied us on the trip.  The baby girl is Diana.  She was my only baby at the time.  I remember having fun and laughing most of the day.  My brother, Dickie died only a year later in a drowning accident at Bass Lake in California.  My sister-in-law, Louise died a few years ago.  They had one son named Richard.  I bet if they were alive today they would be extremely proud of him.  He is a Kings County Supervisor.  I know I am. 

MISSING MY JEANNETTE

Today is December 5, 2012.  The start of a beautiful day here in Fresno, California.  I am currently drinking a good cup of coffee and sitting in front of my PC with my PJ's on and also warming up wearing Jeannette's pink robe that I was fortunate to receive from her before she died.  I feel as though she is hugging me right now. 

I miss her so much.  Wish she were here so I could tell her all that has happened in my life during the three years she has been gone.  I would tell her that yesterday I saw a disgusting sight.  It was her father and his obese wife walking around  looking miserable with each other.  That is what they deserve. 

I enjoyed my day with my dad yesterday.  I love my family. 

I PRAY FOR ALL THE MOTHERS IN 2013 THAT WILL LOOSE THEIR DAUGHTERS TO BREAST CANCER

It is December 1, 2012.  Another new month that starts without my Jeannette. 

December was one of Jeannette's favorite months of the year.  She made sure to decorate her home with all the Christmas trimmings.  The aroma of her beautiful red candles filled the whole house and it made the festivities so much more enjoyable.  Her home was filled with love for her children.  Loreal, Mathew, Shane and Conner.  They knew that their mom would make their Christmas wishes somehow someway come true. 

I remember one Christmas in particular.  She came down from her home in Thousand Oaks in 2006 with a car full of gifts for all of us.  Jeannette was just like that, real generous and eager to bestow love on me and her sister, brother, nieces and nephews.  Diana's youngest who at the time was only 4 months old was given numerous presents.  We all went out to eat and later to the movies.  She hugged us all and then left back to her home and her family.

Today is the beginning of another Christmas season.  A season that has never been the same for me since the day she died.  I pray for all the mothers that will loose their daughters to breast cancer in 2013.  It is the most profound loss that any mother can have.  I deal with my loss everyday.  It is a struggle for me but I know she is free from pain and in Heaven.  That is what sustains me.

SHE NEVER GOT A CHANCE

No more children running around asking mommy to play "Patty Cakes" with them
No more young teens blaring their music all thru the house
No more sink full of dishes to wash
No more cooking for a family six but in reality having a family of four
No more shopping for a full trunk full of food
No more loud laughter
No more hearing Jeannette screaming to get her the hairspray from the second bathroom
No more running late as I drove them to school
No more explaining to my boss that I missed work due my little girl had a stomach ache
No more yelling at Diana to get off the phone because it was already 1:00 in the morning

I could go on and on.  The thing is that they all grew up.  Two are growing older each year.  One never got a chance to grow into middle age.  Never got a chance to see her four beautiful children grow up.  She is gone now.  My beloved Jeannette.   I miss her.

A GOOD MEMORY OF HER

Another foggy morning in Fresno, California.  I cancelled my on going doctor appointment for my wrist injury today.  Didn't want to leave my house and just want to stay indoors and not have to go out in the cold and fight traffic.  I love cleaning my home while listening to music.  I played one of Jeannette's favorite songs on Celine Dion CD.   As I moved from room to room cleaning and straightening out my things a long tear ran down to my cheek.  I finally had to stop and sit down on my new comfy chair and sip on some good coffee.  Thoughts of Jeannette raced in my mind.  Memories of long ago when she was only 15 years of age.  She was a helper around the house.   Carpets were freshly vacumned everyday, dishes washed and bathrooms were scrubbed.  She did it all while I was at work.  I remember opening the front door and the aroma of vanilla penetrating my nostrils.  I would always ask her where is that smell coming from and she would smile and say she had a candle on in the living room.  Not only did she clean house, she also cooked some pasta or whatever was available and something she especially knew how to cook.   Then as I walked up the stairs to relax in my bedroom she would ask me if she could have one of her friends come over and of coarse I would say yes.  We had a very loving relationship during those formative years in her life. 

It's a good memory. 

SHE LOVED THIS FOR LUNCH

I finished making this for lunch right now and how I wish Jeannette could be here to enjoy it with me.  This was one of her favorites.  I remember how she loved garlic bread and a green salad with it too.   As I sit here with the dish in front of me I imagine my Jeannette getting seconds of it.

 

I have so much to be thankful for

Jeannette, Diana and Me, 2008

Thank You Jeannette for all the love you gave to me especially during your final year on earth. 
Thank You Diana for not only being a loving daughter but also my very best friend.
Thank You Daniel for you are not only a good son of mine but an awesome father to your three children and a loving husband to your wife.
Thank You Ashlee for being the best granddaughter and being a hard and smart worker.
Thank You Bianca for never talking back to me and being a good loving grandchild
Thank You Christian for always making my days brighter when I start to feel sad over loosing your auntie
Thank You Jacob and Nicholas and Melanie for being good grandchildren that love me so much.
Thank You Dad for taking good care of yourself so that I won't worry so much over you.
Thank You Brenda, Ron, Ben, Sam, Donna for doing all that you can for Dad.
Thank YOu to all my fans,  friends and loved ones that follow my blog and may you all have a Happy Thanksgiving.


Most of all, I want to thank God for giving one more day to spread his love.  I cherish everyday he gives to me.  My prayers go out to my other grandchildren named Loreal, Mathew, Shane and Conner that they are happy and healthy and especially never forget their mommy that loved them so very much.  I love you all and miss you. 

WE ALL MISS LOLO

ASHLEE' BIRTHDAY APRIL , 2010.  LOOK HOW HAPPY LOLO WAS BACK THEN WITH HER COUSIN. 

BE HAPPY

I have decided to be Happy tomorrow while I enjoy time spent with my daughter, Diana and grandchildren.  I know Jeannette would want that for me. 

JEANNETTE WILL NEVER NOT NEVER BE FORGOTTEN

As I live out my life here in Fresno, California I know that I will never have complete happiness.  No matter what happens in my life, Jeannette is not here to share it with me.  I miss her so very much. 

I SAY, "HAPPY THANKSGIVING" TO MY NETTLE

Thanksgiving is a day we all give thanks for all the blessings we received and so tomorrow on Thanksgiving, I am giving thanks to God for letting me have Jeannette for 37 years.  I certainly wish I would have had her for far more years but the beast of Breast Cancer took her from me. 

I remember her very last Thanksgiving of 2008.  Here in this picture she is smiling for the camera but I knew that she was in pain and scared so much to have to leave her children and loved ones.  I miss her more today than yesterday. 

At around 3:00 p.m. today, after being in bed and sad for the most of the day, I decided to visit my brother Ron.  He has a great testimony about his life and now has a personal relationship with God.  I needed some prayers and I knew he could help me.  Sure enough, he did pray for me and we talked about Jeannette and how would want me to be happy and not sad.  As I drove back to my home I thought my Jeannette and how much she loved me and always called me "Ma" and how close we finally got during her battle with cancer.  She realized alot during that time and came to the understanding that I truly was her most supportive person and with no strings attached.  I was there for her all the way.  

 

 

BEAUTIFUL JEANNETTE EILEEN 2008 

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I LOVE THIS PIC

I  came accross this picture of Jeannette and I at her graduation.  She looked so beautiful and was so happy that day. 

LoLo, Ashlee and Bianca back in the Day.

It seems like it was just yesterday that I took this picture of my three granddaughters.  Ashlee is 20 now and Loreal is 19 and Bianca will be 18 on December 8, 2012.  I wish they were little girls again so I could have them with me and also if that were so then Jeannette would still be here to be LoLo's mommy.  I really miss my relationship with Lolo. I love her more today than yesterday.  I pray that God touches her heart one day soon and that she will call me.  At least call her cousins. 

 

I HOPE" MATCHES" IS TAKEN CARE OF

I love this picture of these cute dogs.  The one on the right is named Boo.  I bet Jeannette would want to buy one of them if she were here.  She did have a dog named Matches.  Such a good dog that followed her around the house and layed down at her feet on the bed.  He loved Jeannette so much.  I think he must have know Jeannette was very sick because he just wanted to be around her and have her cuddle and pet him.  Wish I had a picture of Matches to post on here.  I wonder what became of him. Hopefully my grandsons are taking good care of Matches.  I know Jeannette would want that.

NOVEMBER 10, 2012 WAS A GOOD DAY

Time goes by so quickly and before we can imagine, our 45 year class reunion celebration was happening.  It was the class of 1967 High School class reunion.  I had not planned on attending since it was so close to Jeannette's birthday of November 5th but my daughter Diana told me that Jeannette would want me to enjoy the time spent with fellow classmates.  I couldn't have imagined having such an amazing time at the Tachi Casino in Lemoore, California, where it was held.  We had 80 classmates that attended.  I was so happy all night long having conversations and laughs with all my friends.  Some I had not seen in 45 years.  We are all senior citizens now but the young teenager inside us was still there having so much fun.  We danced to our 1960's music and even had a "soul train" dance contest.  Then we had a "Twist" contest.   Oh, my, what a beautiful time!!  It was a joyous event and I hope we have another one soon.  Wish I could have called Jeannette and told her all about the fun I had. 

My Beautiful Friends

 

Mary, Juanita, Me and Beatrice

Sharing a fun time with my friends at our 1967 Corcoran High class reunion.  We certainly know how to do it.  It was quite a success with several people attending the joyous event.  The food was delicious, the music good, but best of all the people.  We all shared warm hugs and took lots of pictures.  I talked to my closest friends about my dear Jeannette.  How I wish she were alive so I could have called her at 2:00 a.m. and tell her all about it. 
 

 

Dickie Valle, Jeannette's uncle, is in Heaven too

The year was 1967.  It was a year full of anxiety for me.  I was living a my mother's house and had given birth to my baby girl, Diana in January of that year.  Diana's dad was away in Vietnam in a place called Cam Ram Bay.  He would come home in April, 1968.  The man holding my baby girl is my beloved brother, Richard Valle.  He was in the Army and on a weekend pass.  He came by to say goodbye to all his family before being sent to Vietnam.  He was a Paratrooper in Vietnam.  Soon after returning from the jungles of Vietnam he married and was about to welcome the birth of his first child with his high school sweetheart when he was abruptly taken from us at Bass Lake, California.  He drowned on Memorial Day, 1970. 

Jeannette was born in 1971 and never had the chance to know her dearest uncle Dickie.  Now they are both in Heaven. 

SHE ASKED ME TO TAKE A PIC

 

The year was 1994.  I was at the Fresno Fair with Jeannette.  She wanted me to take a picture and so I did.  I found this pic right now inside one of my favorite books.  I was about to give it away and the picture fell out. 

 

Wish I could go back in time and be at the Fair again with Jeannette.  We had so much fun.

SHE MAKES US LAUGH

She has an infectious laugh that makes all of us start laughing. When Diana and Brenda get together you can bet there will be lots of laughs.  Looking forward to Thanksgiving.

love my sis

MY BEAUTIFUL SIS

She is a wonderful mother, sister, auntie, granny and daughter.  She cares about her father and helps to take care of his needs.  She spends as much time as she can with her grandchildren whom she adores. 

Look at those beautiful eyes.  She is beautiful inside and out. 

I love my sister, Brenda.  

Jeannette loved her too.

SHE LOVED FLOWERS

Beautiful flowers bring back memories of Jeannette.  I miss her so much. 
I am heading out the door to buy some flowers and arrange them on my new dining room table. 

Wish Jeannette were here to go have fun with me.  We loved shopping together and going out to eat.  I shall never forget all the fun times we shared. 

JEANNETTE WOULD BE PROUD

It was the "Pig Bowl" last Friday in Fresno, California.  Traditional football game dating back to 1930's when Roosevelt High played against Fresno High. 

Bianca is a senior now at Fresno High.  She is a cheerleader.  We all went to support the team and enjoy watching Bianca do her thing as a cheerleader.  It was also Senior Appreciation Day so during half time the seniors that were either in the football team or cheer team were acknowledged by the public and and appreciated.  Bianca had asked me and her sister, Ashlee to escort her.  Of coarse her brother, Christian tagged along.  He loves his big sisters.  Ashlee bought Bianca balloons and flowers and I and Christian and her mom gave her cards.  Her mother, Diana was in the crowed and screaming out her name, "Yeah Bianca."  Fresno High won the "PIG".

We are all proud of this beautiful young girl.  She is amazing and wonderful and she reminds me of Jeannette so much.  

I know if Jeannette were alive and well that she would have made sure to come to Fresno and be there for Bianca.  I bet she would have been sitting next to her sister, Diana and yelling out Bianca's name. 

How sad that Bianca's grandfather has no interest in his own children and his own grandchildren.  Instead spends his time and energy in Corcoran, California with his wife and her family getting drunk and belligerent and making fools of themselves.  The whole small town knows all about them.  How sad is that. 

MAMA, I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE MY BABIES

Jeannette was in pain and enduring all kinds of medical procedures but the only thing she had on her mind were her babies.  She loved them more than anything.  That is why she made sure to have them financially secure long after she left this earth.  Conner was her youngest and he clung to her at every chance.  Always crying and asking for something.  I think that as young as he was he knew something was not right with his mommy.  Shane was very emotional and always hugged and kissed his mommy.  Mathew was defiant and did not want to face the fact that his mom was dying so he was kind of hard for Jeannette to handle.  Loreal was closed off in her emotions.  No matter how much she was hurting inside she made sure to smile and put on a happy face around her mom.  Jeannette loved her children and there were times when she would break down and cry so much.  She told me she hated knowing that soon she would leave her babies. 

She is their Angel now.  I hope they are doing good and that they never forget their loving mom.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEANNETTE

YOU ARE IN HEAVEN AND I IMAGINE ANGELS CELEBRATING WITH YOU.  I MISS YOU  SO VERY MUCH.  YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART.  LUV  MOMMY

MI LINDA QUERIDA HIJA, ES TU CUMPLEANOS

 Jeannette has left a mark on this earth.  She left us with so many memories of her.  I remember when she was 16 years of age and wanted to spend her birthday in Disneyland.  I don't know how I did it but I managed to take her there along with her sister and brother.  We all enjoyed staying in a plush motel and eating breakfast out at Big Boy's.  I just remember all the laughter that my kids had all during the day.  Then I remember her last birthday in 2008.  It was cold and foggy and so we couldn't go down to see her but we all sent her cards and gifts.  I called her that day and she said she was glad we didn't go because there were lots of accidents on the grapevine heading to Los Angeles and she had feared we would get hurt.  That is the way Jeannette was.  She always worried about us.  She was amazing and loving and on this special day I am wearing her sweater, drinking out of her mug, having all her pictures in front of me, wearing her pink slippers as I walk around my house with a heavy heart listening to her Celine Dion songs that she loved.  Later today I am heading to Baskin Robbins and having a mint chip ice-cream cone that was her favorite.  Then over to her sister's house for a good home cooked meal she is preparing on this day.  We will all be there singing to her "Happy Birthday and eating her favorite cake. 

 

THANK YOU GOD FOR JEANNETTE

I imagine a big party going on in Heaven today.  It's Jeannette's Birthday. 

She is free from pain.  No more medications, etc.  She is in GLORY

Praise God.   Thank You God .

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" MIJA, CELEBRAS CON DIOSITO

On this day of November 5, 2012, I am awake thinking of my Jeannette.  Today, she would have been 41 years of age.  She died three years ago leaving behind her three sons and one daughter.  During her battle with breast cancer she managed to get enough strength to do all the things that her children depended on her to do for them such as helping with their homework, having food for them to eat, picking them up and taking them to school until she couldn't drive.  They had a courageous and amazing mother.  I had a loving daughter who always worried about me even though she was in so much pain.  I remember her telling me she wouldn't live to celebrate her birthday with her babies and she was right. She died two months before.

I am sad and crying on this early Monday.  Woke up at 3:00 a.m. thinking of my beautiful Jeannette.  How I wish I could just have her come down from Heaven so I see her and hug her.  I would give anything to see her again. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEANNETTIE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

I LOVE MY JEANNETTE AND I WILL NEVER FORGET HER.

NO NOT NEVER!!!!

ESTA SON LAS MANIANITAS DE TU CUMPLE ANOS Y  TE LAS CANTAMOS A TI

QUE ESTES CON DIOSITO MI QUERIDA LINDA HIJA. 
 

HER COWGIRL COSTUME IN 2007

She always loved Halloween time.  Went to work on that day dressed a a cowgirl.  I still have those boots tucked away in my closet.  She gave them to me before she found out she had cancer.  I cherish anything she gave me.  Such a beautiful and loving daughter, my Jeannette

MY TREASURED EMAIL FROM JEANNETTE

 This is the second email from Jeannette dated June 13, 2008:

Mom, I'm going to come on Wednesday next week and be there through the weekend, so plan for me and you to see Grandma and Grandpa next weekend at the church.  I can't wait.... I know I'm just going to be crying and crying.... but good tears.

Tell Diana that she has to go no matter what for me.  Oh, I'm not going to have surgery until September because the doctor wants me to have 6 chemo's before the surgery.  Other than that I'm doing good. 

Call me when you can.

I KNOW SHE IS WITH GOD NOW

Today is the last day of October, 2012.  Another month without my Jeannette.  As I am retired now and have time to do things around the house I decided to clean and rearrange my closets.  I found two e-mails from Jeannette.  She sent them to me in June of 2008.  I am going to share this with all of you. 

Hi Ma,

I'm doing good.  Today I went down to the base and met with the JAG(lawyer) and I did my will.  I had it notarized and witnessed too.  So, I officially have a will for my babies.

Tomorrow I have a doctor appointment and then next week Chemo again.  But, I'm hanging in there and I'm so glad that my family loves me the way they do.  I can't believe the Balderama side have so much concern and love that they've given me.  Makes me cry to think that Grandma and Grandpa are praying for me with all their might.

I miss you guys so much ma.  Yesterday when I read your email about your co-workers donating leave for you I bursted into tears.  I just couldn't stop crying because I know that it meant alot for you to be able to be with me.

This email from Jeannette brought me to my knees crying right now.  I miss her so very much.

JEANNETTE WAS THE MEANING OF "LOVE"

On this Tuesday night here in Fresno, California I can't help but cry over loosing my Jeannette.  I sit here in front of this computer looking at her picture and I cry.  I cry because it is a true tragedy that she was taken from all of us. She was not only a daughter but my very best friend and I miss her terribly.  I find myself thinking about all the fun and laughter we shared.  She has left an indelible mark on my life.  She lives on in our memories. 

Lately, I have been doing stream of conscious writing to clear my head.  It's been working so far.  It's the only way to keep my head from exploding. 

Her birthday is coming up next week on November 5, 2012,  She would have been 41 years of age.  How sad is that.  She never got a chance to be middle aged and see her children grow up.  I wish I could close my eyes tonight and wake up to all this being a bad dream. 

I miss My Nettle Poodle.