ME AND MY ANGEL

I wish my Jeannette was here with me right now.  I miss her so much.  Wish she would call me and tell me how her day went at work or how she volunteered again for Conner school trips to the Zoo, or to tell me she was thinking about me and hoping that all is well with me.  She died on Sept. 3, 2009.  To this day, I grief over loosing her.  Some days are good and then some days it just hits me all over again.  I hope that the day comes soon when someone will find the cure for breast cancer so that no other mother will be grieving just like me over loosing a daughter.
I miss my Nettle Poodle.

THE LORD KEPT HER BEAUTIFUL ALL THRU HER BATTLE

She never lost her beauty all during her hard fought battle with cancer.  No amount of Chemotherapy, Radiation, medications could take away her beauty. She felt sick and in so much pain but on the outside she was so amazingly beautiful.  Jeannette had to wear wigs, false eyelashes and paint on her eyebrows but she still looked so pretty.  I do not have not one bad picture of her. 
When her heart stopped beating and as I went into uncontrollable convulsions of tremendous crying over loosing her I looked at her and she looked like as if she was just sleeping.  My baby went to heaven as a beautiful angel.  I look forward to seeing her one day.

REMINDING EVERYONE TO DO MONTHLY CHECK-UP

Here I am at work.  Took this picture today to remind everyone to do their monthly breast check.  It is very important to do so and to be proactive.  I have had over two years of sad memories of all the pain my Jeannette went through in her battle with cancer.  If you feel a lump please have it checked.  Get a second opinion.  By the time Jeannette got her second opinion, it was already on last stage which is stage 4.  I shall never forget the phone call she made to me after the diagnosis.  I answered my phone and all I could hear is my dear daughter crying on the other end.  She tried to say the words but couldn't.  I was driving at the time so I pulled over to the side of the road.  She finally got the words out.  Stage 4 invasive breast cancer.  My heart almost stopped.  I told her I would be there in 4 hours.  We both cried on the phone. 

This is too painful right now to continue. 

MY GRANDSON IS BATMAN FOR A DAY

My grandson loves Batman so when he found out that at Round Table Pizza you could get a pizza and get face painted for $6.00, he begged me to take him.  I picked him and his mom and headed over to the pizza place.  He ran inside and immediately wanted his face painted like batman.  I thought the gal was just going to paint a picture of Batman on one of his cheeks.  No, by the time he was done, it was a full face paint.  We never laughed so hard as we did that day.  His mom said he didn't want her to wash it off for two days.  I adore my little 5 year old grandchild. 

EVALUATION TIME

Today, at work I managed to keep positive attitude and  just trying to have a good Monday.  Work is never ending.   Had my evaluation today.  My boss gave me so many compliments and acknowledge the fact that I am dependable and highly organized.  After working for 35 years, I should be.  Plenty of years to learn every detail of my job.  I still love working with the public and especially helping people.  I thank God I have a job and a good and loving family and especially that I have my health. 
I am missing only one thing in my life.  It is my JEANNETTE.

WISH SHE WOULD HAVE COME TO MY OFFICE

I always wanted Jeannette to see my new office but she was so sick and could not make the trip to Fresno.  She did visit me at my other two job locations.  I was always so proud of her and introducing her to all the staff and friends.  I remember that during one of her visits to Teilman School in Fresno one of the staff had some kittens in a cage and wanted somebody to adopt them.  Well, here comes Jeannette asking me about the kittens and saying how cute they were.  She ended up taking all three kittens with her and was so excited to show them to her children.  About a couple of weeks later they all died.  She said she found out they had Feline Leukemia.  I felt so bad for her because she really loved the kittens. 

I sure do miss My Jeannette, my Nettle Poodle

MY GIRLS, JEANNETTE AND DIANA IN RENO, NEVADA

We three had taken a trip by bus to Reno, Nevada in 1987.  Had the best time.  Diana made everybody on the bus laugh so much due to back and forth conversations with the bus driver.  He was one of those die hard Greyhound bus drivers that was so into being bossy with everyone.  He kept saying he smelled smoke and that if anyone was smoking he was stopping the bus and that person had to exit.  Diana asked him if he smoked.  He said yes but that he didn't smoke on the bus.  Diana said to him that maybe he didn't change his shirt and he was smelling himself.  He laughed so much and said he had been wearing the same shirt for two days and didn't have time to change.  Everyone felt as ease as soon as he laughed.  After that it was one joke after another.  Jeannette had tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.  We stayed with a good friend of mine that took us to a fancy casino for dinner.  The girls were not old enough to gamble so they went to Circus Circus.  Cars were honking their horns as my girls crossed the street.  They looked so pretty.  I shall never forget the trip.  We took this picture during dinner.  I am so happy we did. 

Jan. 23, 2012: fresno county workers on strike

Well today we went on strike due to a 9% pay cut.  The picture above are my fellow co-workers.  Since I am almost ready to retire and being that I have worked for the county for mega years, I figured i would stay home and rest my old bones.  It was raining in the morning and I was not feeling good so I stayed in bed.  My dad came close to noon time and we had a good visit.  I do not stress about anything anymore.  My stressing and depression happened  from 2008 until 2011.  I lost Jeannette on September 2, 2009 and nothing can be as devastating to me as loosing my baby.  The pain is with me all of the time.  I might be short on my next paycheck but I will manage and not stress.  The strike we are in is for a good cause and I support the cause but I am not all fired up about it like my co-workers.  They are young and do not have much time in with the county like I do. 

MY BELOVED GRANDMOTHER. TILLIE BALDERAMA

She was a God fearing woman.  Was a Christian all her life.  When things got tough for her during her life, she kept on going.  She was a survivor.  So strong, so loving, so determined to reach out to lost souls and bring them to God.  She prayed all her life for all of us.  She gave birth to 6 sons and 4 daughters.  She lived in Corcoran, California almost all her life.  She was an immaculate woman.  Her house had to be the cleanest house in Corcoran.  I loved her cooking.  She knew how to make ends meet.  Such a beautiful woman with big brown eyes and long eyelashes.  I would visit her from time to time and she always welcomed me with a big hug and kiss. 
She is gone but never forgotten.

I miss my grandma Tillie.

ME AND MY GRANDDAUGHTER AT FRESNO HIGH GAME

We took this pic in the summer of 2011.  Were at a Fresno High School football game.  Bianca, my other granddaughter is on the Cheer team.  Had alot of fun eating hot dogs and drinking cokes.  Just being around them makes me happy and at the same time I get out of my house and focus on other things.  I wish Jeannette was with us. 

LIFE IS SO HARD SOMEDAYS BUT I KEEP ON SMILING

On the verge of a Fresno County strike.  No work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  No pay on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  No extra money to do some traveling while I am off work.  No ME time.  No time to worry about my job.  No time to get all depressed and cry over it.  My blood pressure is good, I am healthy. No meds here. 

Nothing ever can be as disastrous and life changing as when I lost my Jeannette.  I have endured days and nights of deep depression.  I have cried a million tears.  I know that life is not what I want it to be but I keep going and going and going. 

THAT IS WHY I AM SMILING IN THIS PICTURE.  I AM A SURVIVOR. 

This is Jeannette watching her Raider Game

Before she knew about the cancer she was visiting her friend and relaxing with her friend's cat and all snuggled up with a Raider blanket.  She loved that cat. 
I love this black and white picture of her.  She always loved kitty cats and as far back as I remember she always had one or another.  This particular cat loved her too.  As soon as Jeannette came into her friends home the cat would prance around her and rub it's body against her pants to get her attention. 
Cats remind me of her.
The last two cats she had before she died must have know something was wrong with her because they always wanted to be snuggling on top of her bed close to her.  When she would manage to walk into the living room they would follow her and purr.  She found comfort in just touching them and petting them. 
About a month after she died I happened to open my front door of my home and in front of me was a malnourished hungry kitty cat.  It meowed so loud and I knew it was asking for food.  I found a piece of ham in my fridge and fed it to him.  I knew I couldn't keep it so I made it follow me to my car while dangling another piece of ham.  I put the ham in the trunk of my car and when the cat jumped in to get it, I closed the trunk and drove over to my daughter Diana's house which was only a few blocks from my home.  I could hear the cat crying and wanting out.  As soon as I got to my daughter's house I opened the trunk and it just so happened that my daughter's neighbor loves cats and was outside. I asked her if she wanted another stray cat.  She smiled and said, "Well, one more won't hurt."  Two years later the Kitty cat is now an adult cat and his name is Timber.  He is pampered by the neighbor lady.  I am so happy I brought him out of a life of alley cat and into a life of luxury.  I saved him. 
I know Jeannette would be proud of me.

SHE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY ALL HER LIFE

A quote by Mother Teresa: I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us, he will not ask, 'How many good things have you done in your life?' rather he will ask, 'How much love did you put into what you did?

Jeannette was so full of Love for her family and friends.  She put so much love into taking good care of her children.  Loreal, Mathew, Shane and Conner all were blessed to have a loving mother who sacrificed so much for them especially during her battle with breast cancer.  With her body shutting down and so full of extreme pain she still got up from her bed and helped with homework, cooked, picked up her children from school, and tucked them into bed.  I am so proud of my daughter.

 The best way to describe her in one word is LOVE. 

VIRGINIA GUERRERO ROCHA HAS GONE TO HEAVEN

Domingo and Virginia Rocha

Me, my ex and his beautiful mama

On Friday, January 13, 2012, my ex-mother-in-law died.  She was 92 years of age.  I am writing this in memory of her and besides that, she was my children's grandmother.

I first laid eyes on her in 1966.  Such a beautiful tall woman with such a pretty face. She welcomed me into her home with a big hug.  I was so scared at that time of my life because my ex and I had ran away to get married.  I was too young.  Only 16 years of age and needed my parents consent.  On the day I met Virginia she had just come home from working out in the cotton fields of Corcoran, California. She toiled out in the hot sun to help with the household income.  I could not ask for a nicer mother-in-law.  She was so nice and kind.  She endured many many years of abuse by her husband and still kept her family together.  I began to learn how to cook authentic Mexican meals and how to make tamales and make home made chorizo, etc. She taught me how to make meals to feed a big family.  I loved learning from her because she had alot of patience with me.  I was young and in so much in love with her son and I wanted him to experience the same kind of cooking from me as he did growing up but I never measured up to her. She was like a Betty Crocker.  As years passed and we began to visit her every Friday night we developed a very close relationship.  I loved her so much.  She was one of a kind.  We had fun doing the simplest things like just driving around town and laughing about silly things.  We would play mexican music and dance and sing to Vicente Fernandez, etc in her living room.  We went to the Fresno Fair because she wanted to see Freddie Fender and I made sure her dream came true.  We got front row seating and she never forgot it.  We went to Disneyland and Magic Mountain and got on some of the rides together and had so much fun.  We celebrated birthdays, holidays and all kinds of events together.  We were like mother and daughter.  I remember one time I had a party for my son who was turning one year of age.  Well, I forgot the pinata.  When I arrived at her house she had made one.  I could not believe my eyes as I discovered it on her table.  I asked her how she made it.  She smiled and made it sound like it was no big deal.  To me it was.  That's the kind of woman she was.  She was all that I wanted to be when I reached her age.  I admired her for being strong and putting her family as the number one in her life.  She loved all her children and her grandchildren and great grandchildren.

After I was divorced from her son I still loved her more than anything.  I would visit her and as years went by we lost touch and I focused on my own family.  I would run into her sometimes and in an instant I was in love with her all over again.  We hugged and caught up on things in our lives. 

I know in my heart that one day I will see her again.  She will be with my Jeannette. 
May She rest in Peace. 

This Baby is now 19. Ashlee Sian Rocha

Relaxing around the house and re-organizing my things.  Came across this button photo of Me and my granddaughter, Ashlee.  It was taken way back in 1992 at the Fresno Fair.  She is an amazing young lady now.  I love her so much. 

OUR LAST VISIT TO SOLVANG WITH MY JEANNETTE

She had just found out devastating news that the cancer was full blown and her time on this earth was short.  After both of us crying a million tears she announced to everyone that she wanted to go one more time to Solvang, California.  It is a small quaint town in the coastal area and near Los Angeles.  She and I are pictured here in one of the danish bakeries.  She wanted a chocolate chip cookie and when she finally got it and into her mouth, she closed her beautiful eyes and said Ummmmmmmmmmmmm.  I laughed with her and I was pleased to know something made her happy.  I never knew a little danish cookie could bring out all the joy in her.  That little black jacket with the pink stripe is one that I hold dear to me.  I wear it when I want to feel her love.  I miss my Nettle Poodle so much. 

RESTING AND RELAXING ON A SUNDAY AND READING JEANNETTE'S LAST LETTER

It's a beautiful day and I really should be out enjoying the day but I chose to rest and drink coffee and read Jeannette's last letter to me.  I am enjoying my coffee so much because Ashlee bought me a Keurig coffee maker.  It makes single cups in seconds.  She is always doing something good for me.  My Jeannette was just like that.  If she were alive and here, she would already be telling me to get ready and go to the park or the movies or lunch.  I loved spending time with her.  I pray her children never forget their mother who loved them with all her heart.  I pray also that Loreal remembers all the good advice her mama gave to her.  I pray Mathew excels in school and that Shane and Conner will always remember that their mama cried so much before she left.  She told me to always let the her children know she is their angel now.

Well, I better get up and get dressed and go see what my grandkids are up to. 
I am so glad tomorrow is a holiday.  Another day to relax and get up when I want to. 

BIG EYES, BEAUTIFUL HAIR, CUTE NOSE, PRETTY LIPS, MY JEANNETTE

This painting pretty much sums up what my Jeannette looked like.  She was amazingly beautiful. She died too young.  Never got a chance to know how it is to grow old like me and be a grandmother.  She never got to see her children grow up. The oldest was only 16 when she died.  That is the worst pain she had.  Knowing she would leave her children.  I am proud of her and I thank God for letting me have her for 37 years.  My Nettle Poodle.  I miss her so much.

ONE OF MY COPING TOOLS, MY COUSIN "RENE"

Imagine not having your beautiful daughter to celebrate your birthday anymore.  It is a frightening thought for some of you.  As for me, I have my cousin Rene.  She is the one that long ago after finding out from other family members that I was in deep depression and was always in bed crying came to my house.  She knocked and knocked until I opened the door.  She took one look at me and said, "Gloria, what is going on here." I told her I didn't want to talk and for her to just go home.  She insisted on staying.  Made a fresh pot of coffee and demanded that I get in the shower.  She changed all my bedding and washed my dishes, mopped the floors before I came out of the bathroom.  Next, she insisted on taking me out for fresh air. Anywhere would do, she just wanted me out and about.  I threw myself in bed even with my wet hair.  She grabbed me by my arm and pulled me up.  I tugged back and she pulled me again.  Finally, I stood up crying. She pulled a top and pants from my closet and told me to put them on.  I did.  I ended up fixing my hair and putting make-up.  We went out to dinner and to a movie.  That was the beginning of my journey back to reality.  Everyday is a struggle for me but I manage.  It is getting better and better.  So, now after two years, I went out with her to celebrate my birthday.  Thank You, my sweet Rene.  You were sent by my Jeannette.  I know she did not want me all depressed. 

ALONE WITH HER THOUGHTS BEFORE IT HAPPENED

It's another beautiful Saturday without her.  As I go about my morning cleaning, cooking, getting dressed, etc. I think of her.  I wonder what she was thinking about when this picture was taken.  It seems to me it must have been around the 4th of July somewhere.  She traveled alot and I think she was in Texas.  She had exhausted all efforts to mend her marriage.  It did not work.  Miserable is an understatement.  She coped as best as she could.  All I know is that I miss her everyday and wish she was here with me and getting ready to go to Red Lobster with her brother and sister and the rest of the family that truly loves her. 

AT WORK AND THINKING ABOUT JEANNETTE

At work on a Friday and looking forward to a relaxing weekend.  It used to be different for me back in the days of 1980s.  I was always in a hurry to do for my young family.  As a single mother I was all my children had.  I remember that every Friday my children looked forward to me making tacos and having ice-cream for dessert.  Diana would cut up the lettuce and tomatoes and Jeannette would shred the Monterey Jack Cheese.  Daniel would be playing his music and working up an appetite.  Jeannette was so good at setting the table and making sure to put a vase of flowers on the table to make it look pretty.  My children didn't know how it was to have a father even though he lived only 10 miles away.  His life was focused on his romantic conquests and didn't care much about his children.  He never did. Even at a young age children know when they are not wanted. 
Today, I am without my children but they do not live far from me and I have a very close relationship with them and my grandchildren.  Can't wait to retire and really do what I want instead of having to go to work.  I can imagine myself getting up and ready to head out to where ever I want to go.  No worries, nobody calling me from work asking me if I am coming in and that they are short staffed and really need me.  I do like my job though. Especially supervising my young assistant named Laurie.  She was assigned to my area and I am guiding her and showing her how to be welcoming to the public among other job duties.  She is only nineteen but OH my God, she is amazing.  So smart about life and knows how to mentor to another young girl working in another area.  I told Laurie that if this world were to end that she would be a survivor.  She laughs all day long with me and it makes my day go by so fast. 

On to my three day weekend.

Missing my Nettle Poodle.

ASHLEE SHOWERED ME WITH LOTS OF LOVE TODAY

Ashlee took me out to lunch today.  It is unbelievable how similar her personality and Jeannette's are.  Ashlee does nice things for family and friends all of the time.  Today was a surprise.  We ate a chicken salad while laughing so much at different subjects.  We get along so good and she totally respects me just like Jeannette did.  I have so much love for my oldest grandchild.  It feels like just yesterday was April, 1992 and I was in the hospital anxiously awaiting her arrival.  When she made her appearance in this world, I cried like a baby.  I was full of emotions.  I wanted the best for Ashlee and that's exactly what she got.  She is smart, pretty, good hearted, does not expect anything for nothing, works hard for what she wants and has set her goals and says that when she reaching her goals, that she is going to make another list of goals.  She is never gonna stop trying to be better and better.  I am so proud of her.  My China doll reminds me of my Nettle Poodle.

THEY TOOK ME OUT ON MY BIRTHDAY, MY SWEET FRIENDS

January 9, 2012.  My birthday.  My two best friends took me out to relax and enjoy my day.  We had a nice dinner.  We joked around and laughed alot.  I needed that.  Life has thrown me alot of daggers and this was not one of them.  Last night it was fun with my family here surprising me with food, cake, ice-cream and gifts too.  Today, my friends at work held a potluck for me and also gave me gifts, etc.  I feel the love coming my way and like I said, I really needed it.  Life is so different for now living without my Jeannette.  I use every tool necessary to cope with loosing her.  It feels so good to know that one of my coping tools are my friends. 

My youngest brother and me in 2003

So, I arrived home today on my birthday and much to my surprise, I received a beautiful birthday card from my brother, Sam. Inside the card was this picture of us in 2003.  We were in my hometown of Corcoran celebrating his and my dad's birthday.  I forgot we took this picture.  During those times in 2003, I was basically o.k. and no major problems.  It was during the time that Jeannette was also happy and healthy and living her life in Thousand Oaks, Calif. 

My brother lives clear across on the opposite end of the United States and it is so special to all our family when he comes down along with his family to visit us here in Fresno and Corcoran. 

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY

What an awesome surprise I had this evening.  My family came knocking at my door. All of them together.  Everyone was holding something in their hands.  All for me.  I was relaxing at home when it happened.  They brought a complete dinner, cake, ice-cream, gifts and lots of hugs for me.  My daughter put on the coffee as my granddaughters set the table and arranged all the food.  My Son and his wife and children came along with my cousins, dad, sister and all the nephews and nieces.  It was a lively time had by all and especially me.  As they all gathered around me singing me Happy Birthday there was only one person missing. My Jeannette.  I know she would have been right next to me if she were here.  I felt her spirit though.  I felt her love.  Two years and four months have passed but I still feel like it barely happened that she left this world and into Heaven and free from pain.

I give thanks to God for blessing me with a beautiful loving family that cares so much about me.  Thank You Lord for blessing me also with my Jeannette and letting her be in my life for 37 years.  I know she is in Heaven and I know that one day I will see her. 

THIS LITTLE GIRL WAS A BUNDLE OF JOY

Wish I could go back in time to when Jeannette was my little girl.  I miss those days of holding her, reading stories to her, playing with her and above all else loving my pretty little girl.  Jeannette was my youngest of three children.  Back in those days, my ex ruled our household like a dictator.  He never looked happy knowing he had a beautiful wife and three wonderful children.  The kids would all run and hide when my ex would arrive home from work.  I recently talked about this to Diana, my oldest.  She told me she still has issues about her childhood and all the post traumatic stress she developed after living with such an unloving father.  To this day, he does not make any effort to contact his children or grandchildren.  He is way too busy chasing the money.  How stupid is that.  Family is the number one thing in my life.
I miss my Nettle Poodle.

Famous Painting by Amedeo Modigli Somehow Mellows Me

I love this painting by Modigli.  It really does something to my mood.  Mellows me out.  Having to come home to view my blog and find out I have a negative comment by someone irrelevant made me upset but when I look at this painting it makes me think alot about it.  This is what I get off of this painting:  She is wearing a large hat for protection and the way her finger is up to her chin makes me think she is calming herself down.  She is not quick to react to things.  She has a beautiful face but no smile. The way I see it, she just wants to relax and I think I will too.  I am throwing all negativity out the window. 
Jeannette was just like that.  She was fun loving and eager to please.  If she got upset about something it only took a few minutes and she was over it.  My Jeannette was awesome and loving and she wore a hat too.  A military hat.  Proud to say, she served our nation with dignity and grace.  She believed that she would survive and that she would continue to be a wonderful mother to her children. 

SHE FOUGHT A BIG BATTLE WITH CANCER BUT SHE LOST

Yes, she lost her battle with cancer on September 3, 2009.   She fought so hard.  Just like the movie called "Brave Heart".  However; in the movie the star won his battle.  She was a warrior.  Never missed her doctor appointments and always took all her medicines.  She tried everything and anything to the point that I intervened one day.  I told her the chemo and the radiation treatments were being ordered back to back and that the chemo was going to poison her and the radiation was going to burn her.  I told her that maybe she should consider changing doctors.  I felt that the doctors were out of line and that she had good insurance and maybe they were trying to get as much money as they could before she died.  Jeannette chose to listen to them and kept on and on until she developed major problems with burns and extreme pain.  To this day I still feel the same about those doctors.   I know several people that have had cancer but are survivors.  They received  chemo and radiation therapy but not like my Jeannette.  My cousin, Rene is a survivor.  She didn't have stage 4 breast cancer.  They caught hers in the beginning stages.  I honestly believe that Jeannette would have lived longer if her plan of treatment would have been done different.  She died a year after the diagnosis.  During the time she was fighting the battle she had me for support.  I would do anything for her.  My dear daughter lost her battle with cancer and I lost her. 

THIS IS A PICTURE OF A GOOD AND KIND LADY

Yes, I have to admit it's me.  Just taking crazy pics of myself. I thought I would let everyone of you know what I look like today, January 2, 2012.  The start of a new year that hopefully brings me happiness.  I have not received any phone calls from my family asking me for something so I guess it's a good day.  Spent the morning organizing and cleaning my home.  Talked to a friend of mine on the phone, paid some of my bills and am busy as I write this blog, washing my clothes for work tomorrow.  Another week at work and another chance to do something good for the public.  Jeannette is always on my mind.  She will never be forgotten. 

Famous Painting by Diego Rivera: ignited a memory of long ago.

This amazing portrait by Diego Rivera brought me back to memories of long ago.  I was only twelve years or maybe a little younger.  I was taught how to make tortillas by my beloved grandmother named Margaret Magallanes.  I loved her so much.  She was the only person in my young life at the time that understood my emotions.  I loved visiting her because she would always teach me something.  I remember her putting the ingredients for the tortillas on the table and telling me how much of this and how much of that.  It was not measured at all.  My first batch of tortillas looked like maps of different states of the United States.  They were very funny looking and all crooked.  She told me that with time I would get better and better at making them.  By the time I was 13 years of age, I made perfect round tortillas and delicious.  That was the year she died.  My heart was broken.  She was buried at the Corcoran, California cemetery.  My "MiAma".  I owe her most of my cooking skills.  My parents enjoyed 6 years of me making 100 tortillas per day for them.  After I left and got married I thought it would be the last time I would make tortillas.  No, it was just the beginning of a terrible ordeal living with a complete demon.  He made me make tortillas three times per day.  Well, by the time I turned 29 years of age, the tortilla making was over.  I divorced.  But, my children loved them so I made them only on special occasions.  Now, my granddaughters asked me to show them how to make them.  They loved making them.  Yes, for just one day.  LOL.
Jeannette loved them so much that during the time I spent with her in her home she asked me to make them and I did.  I would do anything for my baby. 

2012 ANOTHER YEAR WITHOUT HER

Jeannette was a pretty young teen in this picture.  I think she must have been around nineteen years of age.  She was happy and carefree.  Loved hanging out with her friends but what I do remember is her hanging out with me too.  She loved going to Jack-in-the-box and ordering the jumbo jack with curly fries and a strawberry milkshake.  Then heading out to Manchester Mall or Fashion Fair.  We shopped till we dropped.  I don't remember her being depressed or crying over anything.  She had all she needed in me.  I totally supported her.  When she announced to me that she wanted to go to Disneyland, I took her.  We all went.  Daniel, my son and Diana, my oldest.  The four of us went to  Los Angeles with me at the wheel.  I ended up taking the wrong exit and all of a sudden I was on Whittier Blvd.  The most awesome cruising in the world for young teens.  I immediately wanted to make a U-turn and go back but Jeannette, Daniel and Diana yelled out to me, "No, mama, please, let's cruise."  So we did.  They loved it.  Next morning we headed to Disneyland and then after that we went to the garmet district and I bought them their school clothes. 
Those memories are so good to remember because it brings my mind back to when my Jeannette was happy and young and carefree. 

How I miss my Nettle Poodle.