Friday, April 6, 2012

JEANNETTE SAID, "MAMA, PLEASE BE CALM."

Yesterday I had an appointment for an MRI due to back pain.  I have never had such a frightening experience in my life.  The technician had me get into a tunnel looking machine that looked like I was about to go into outer space.  I was told not to move a single muscle for 45 minutes.  They put earplugs in my ears and warned me it about the loud noise.  They handed me a small ball that I could squeeze if I got a panic attack.  As they moved me into position my heart began to race.  I closed my eyes because the inside ceiling of the "Missile" was almost touching my nose.  I felt like I was being buried alive.  It was dark so I closed my eyes.  The noise was as if someone was firing bullets at me very loud.  I heard the technician's voice telling me that the procedure would be in 2.5 minute intervals.  It went on and on.  I began to get anxiety.  My heart was beating faster.  I wanted to press the ball but kept telling myself that if I did, I would never find out what is causing my back pain.   Then around 10 minutes into the procedure I heard Jeannette's voice telling me to be calm.  I calmed down after I thought about all the hell she went through battling the breast cancer.  I remembered how she had more than 10 MRIs.  During one of her MRIs she squeezed the ball and when I asked the technician why he stopped the procedure he said Jeannette could not handle it.  I didn't understand at that time but now being in this missile I knew exactly what she endured.   My poor Jeannette.  She endured so much.  

After the procedure was done I was so happy I actually finished.  When I got into my car I began to cry.  I was so emotional thinking about Jeannette and all that she went through.  I miss her so much.   

I hope I never ever hear the doctor say, "Gloria, let's get you set up for another MRI."

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