I AM THANKFUL

Today I am thankful for being healthy and able to have my family with me on this ThanksGiving Day. 

My passion in life is my family. 

Thank You God for all the blessings. 

Happy Thanksgiving of 2008

My beloved daughter.  It was 2008 and her last Thanksgiving on earth.  She looked so happy as she turned to me to take this picture.  After the pic was taken, she managed to move her food around with her fork but failed to take one bite.  She was on pain meds but she managed to put on her cute clothes and some make-up and wig on that occasion.  Wish I could go into this pic and give her another big hug like I did on that day. 

On this special day of 2013 and Thanksgiving Day, I give thanks to God for blessing me with a beautiful and awesome daughter.  When she left this earth, a piece of my heart left too.  I miss her so much. 

SHE IS WITH GOD

I know Jeannette is with God in Heaven. 

During her final days on earth she told me she was afraid to go to Heaven.  I asked her why and she explained to me that she was fearful of being new there and not knowing what would happen.  I reassured her that her pain would be gone and she would be extremely happy with Jesus.   She smiled and closed her eyes as the pain medicine took effect.  It only worked for a few moments and then the pain came back.  Jeannette suffered the most extreme pain but now she is in Heaven with her grandmother by her side.  I miss both of them so much. 

GOD HAS COMFORTED ME

I love God and thank him for comforting me during these past four difficult years after Jeannette died.  I was grief stricken in an unbelievable way.  My days and nights were full of sadness.  Time has passed so quickly and now, after four years I am finally able to  cope.  Thanks to God

JEANNETTE AND HER MISTY

This picture reminds me of Jeannette.  She was almost always barefooted and I remember telling her to put her shoes on over and over.  One day I found her giving her kitty cat named Misty, a small treat.  I asked her what was she giving the cat to eat and she said, "Mommy, it's o.k. cause I tasted it before I gave it to Misty. "  She loved her Misty. 

Jeannette's cousin Tori and baby

Take a good look at this adorable picture.  Look at this new mother's face.  She is bursting with pride holding her beautiful baby girl in her arms.  The picture should become a famous painting someday. 

I see love between mother and child.  The baby looks like she is content and safe in her mother's arms.  The way the mother is holding the baby with open hands demonstrates how protective she is of her baby.  The baby is well protected with little cover ups for her tiny hands so that she won't scratch her face.  The baby's shoes look so cute just like little boots to keep her tiny feet warm.  Her little cap on her head keeps her warm.  The baby is not crying and instead has her eyes open just a little so that she can confirm that she is in her mother's arms.

The mother is my beautiful niece, Victoria (Tori).

I love her and feel proud to call her my niece. 

"Happy Birthday" to my Beautiful Sis, Brenda

On this day long ago, a beautiful baby was born in San Jose, California.  The baby was wrapped in a pink blanket as my mother placed her into my 12 year old arms that were shaking from excitement.  Finally,  I had a sister.  I loved her so much and still do. 

Happy Birthday to my beautiful sis.  She lives 50 miles from me but distance does not does not keep us apart.

There was a time long ago when she was only 4 years old that I shall never forget.  It was during my teen life in Corcoran.  My days were filled with homework and chores around the house.  My sister was just a toddler but she knew where to get special attention so she followed me around the house.  One day in particular, I was emotional and upset because I had broken up with my boyfriend and was just moping around in my room, she opened the door and said, "Goya, you want my cookie?"  I looked at her as she held a broken cookie that was half eaten in her hand.  She was so pretty.

 My baby sis wanted to comfort me.  I pulled her towards me and as she hopped on my bed she said, "Goya, can I just eat it then?"  I wiped my tears and nodded yes to her.  She gobbled that cookie up faster than a speeding bullet.  I smiled.  She put that smile on face. 

I loved my baby sis back then and now.  On this, her special day, I pray God will comfort her and give her blessings all day. 

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY

SO PROUD OF MY JEANNETTE. 

THANKS TO GOD FOR ANNIE

Two weeks ago I met this beautiful lady named Annie.  My cousin, Rene introduced us.  We hit if off right away and laughed about all sorts of things all thru the night while listening to good music.  We exchanged phone numbers and so when I called her to say hello, five minutes turned into an hour. We have so much in common that it's unbelievable. 

Last Friday as I made my way into her lovely home she said, "Welcome to my Grandma's home."  It was so cozy and adorable.  It looked to me like it was professionally decorated but it was all Annie's doing. 

I truly believe that when I prayed to God to please make me feel better about life, he sent me Annie.  I believe she is an instrument from God.  She is now my new best friend.  My cousin is coming down next weekend and we will have fun again. 

Annie is  beautiful, kind, honest, funny, has good taste in music, awesome cook and most of all a loving mother to her children and loves her pets.    All those are fine qualities in a good friend.

Thanks to God for answering my prayers. 

REPAIRING MY HEART

ME AND MY SMILE

 

Thursday morning and here I am once again with a smile on my face even though my life has changed so much since the death of my beloved Jeannette.  I have a positive attitude and choose to focus on the good in my life such as my children and grandchildren. 

 

My grandson was severely sick this past weekend and I spent for the most part at Valley Children's hospital.  He had blood drawn and during that moment in time, he was about to cry until I calmed him down and told him to be brave like his auntie Jeannette who lives in Heaven.  Then, he underwent a cat scan and I again, I calmed him down.  He was released to his mother's care but he wanted to come stay with me.  I love him so much and will do just about anything for him. 

 

That is the way I feel about my family.  That is me in a nutshell.  Just a loving mom and grandmother.

JEANNETTE'S LOVING GRANDPA

He was best described by many as a "Self Made Man" and I agree because I was his daughter-in law and also because I happen to have witnessed him in action taking care of business at hand.

Everyday was work day for him and on Sundays, when most people would be either attending church or resting, he was busy fixing things in one or two of the several homes he owned in town.  He was up early every morning and what most people call early is like 6:00 a.m, to him early meant 4:00 a.m.

Most of his days were filled with one project or another.  He taught all his children how to do "handy work" in the homes. 

Encouraged by his loving parents who happened to live right around the corner from him, he managed to acquire several parcels of land and built homes, small homes with maybe two bedrooms, but never the less, cozy and comfortable enough for small families. 

He never could handle stress and let it be known to everyone around him when he had enough.  His hat would be crooked and he would walk at a fast pace into the home he shared with his wife and children.  At times, I thought he would have a heart attack or stroke due to his anger but it never happened.

During small spurts in his life, he would sit down in his living room on his recliner and instead of reaching out for the remote control, he would ask for "La Jeannnnneettteeee."  Then, Jeannette would run right into his arms and with her cute little voice would say to him, "Grandpa, I want fruit."    He would get up, holding her in his arms and go out to his front door.  He had planted fruit trees in the front yard of his home and there was his apple pear tree.  He would let her yank at it until she pulled it off the branch.  Then he would take her to wash it and dry it.  Jeannette loved her grandpa.  She was only three but she knew who to turn to and who she could get special attention from.  It was her grandpa. 

He never not never had a mean thing to say to me.  We had a good relationship and such so, that at times we would sit in his living room and we would make each other laugh so much.  He had a good sense of humor and loved hearing my stories of incidents at my job while working at the hospital in Fresno, Calif.  We were close and I admired all his skills and knowledge. 

He was a good father and left his children the skills to fix cars, homes, pipes, broken cabinets, etc.

I just wish he would focused more on his second son.  His second son has no parenting skills or grand parenting skills whatsoever.  He is nothing like his dad.  Oh, yeah, I forgot, he does know how to change the oil in his car. 

HER SPECIAL DAY

Happy Birthday to my Jeannette

Missing her today more than ever

 

I FELT HER TOUCH

It was 4:00 a.m. this morning when I got out of bed to get another blanket to cover myself.  The nights are getting colder.  As I made my way back into the bedroom I glanced at my calendar that is pinned up on the wall in the kitchen.  It is November 5, 2013.  It is my sweet daughter's birthday.

I made myself go back to sleep by getting on my cellphone and on internet to catch up on the news of the day.  I thought about all the birthdays I had enjoyed celebrating Jeannette's special day in the past.  In 1975, I had a big birthday party for her.  She was walking around in her orange clogs with cake on her face and laughing.  She was my cute little 4 year old toddler.  I loved being her mommy.

It is 7:30 a.m. now.  I reached out while laying on my comfy bed and stretched out my hand.  I felt her hand touch mine.  It is unbelievable!!  I have no words to describe the feeling. 

Currently, lost for words.  I am emotional at this point on this blog. 

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" JEANNETTE

Today in 1971 you were born.  YOU made me the happiest person in the world on that day.  I went thru massive pain to have you but nothing can compare to the pain I have after losing you to breast cancer.  I live my days thinking of you and wishing you could be here with me. 

 

"Happy Birthday" Jeannette

It's your birthday up in heaven,
and I'm wondering what you'll do.
Will there be a celebration...
And a cake to honor you?
Are the kitchen angels busy
Breaking eggs and sifting flour?
Is the angel choir practicing
As it gets close to the hour?
Is there ice cream made from snowflakes
And some candy made from clouds?
Will it be just you and Jesus,
Or all the happy crowds?
I won't be there to hug you
Or to count and pull your ears,
And I'm sure I'll feel lonely
As I shed some birthday tears,
But I know your heavenly birthday
Will be your best one ever!
Just remember, I still love you --

HER NEW RED COAT

She walked in the rain on that winter day back in 1993.  It was to be one of the happiest days of her life.  She looked absolutely beautiful in her new red coat as she walked in the Tower District of Fresno, California. 

Those were her carefree days.

The days with no worries.

She had me, her mommy to take care of her. 

She had Monty too.