PLEASE FORGIVE ME, MIJA

It was 1971.  A young mother of three lived on a humble street called Normal in Fresno, California.  Her days were spent taking care of her babies.  She kept them warm in the winter and cool in the summer.  Everyday was an adventure for the children.  Sometimes the young 22 year old mother would be so very happy cooking, cleaning and dusting however, when 5:00 p.m. came around it was all together a different feeling that would take place. 


Her husband was always mad at something.  He was mad because the children made too much noise or because he had to work, or because the food was not to his liking, etc.  Bottom line is that he was a very negative person.  Everyday he would complain to his wife that she should be out working and not home and being lazy, etc.  He did not appreciate her at all.  All he thought about was money. 


One day and at the time her baby was only 5 months old, the young mother found a trainee job opening in the local paper.  She applied and was immediately hired.  The place she was hired at was an optical eye wear office.  The doctor was old and needed a  Spanish speaking assistant to help him as there were a lot of Hispanics that would frequent the office.  It was located in downtown Fresno.  At the time it was the heart of the city.  The famous Fulton mall. 


That young mother was me, Gloria.  The mother of Jeannette.  I cry now as I sit here writing about this.  It makes me sick to know I left my 5 month old baby with strangers in order to make my husband happy.  He never was.  Nothing could make him happy.  He hated being my husband and hated being a father. 


To my Jeannette in Heaven:  Mija, I am so sorry for leaving you with strangers as a baby.  I can only imagine how awful it must have felt for you not to have my loving arms around you, holding you.


I AM SO SORRY!  PLEASE FORGIVE ME MIJA.