HER BASKET WAS FULL

Already October 7, 2014.  The days are going by faster the older I become.  Yesterday, I was at the Fresno Fashion Mall shopping and sort of lost my energy so I sat down on a bench and rested for awhile.  I noticed so many young woman walking with their children and thought about Jeannette.  It's just not fair that she is gone and is not out and about with her children.


 She absolutely loved shopping.  During her last months on this earth she would wake up in the morning and say, "Ma, get ready, let's go shopping."  It certainly makes me smile when I think of her laughing with me and for quick moments forgetting she was dying. 


At the entrance to the stores she would try and reach for a basket but her energy level was very low so I would get in front of her and pull out the basket for her.  She wanted me to get one for myself.  She would say, "Ma, get anything you want."  Pobresita mija, she loved me with all her heart.  Of coarse I didn't put anything in the basket but instead followed her around the store without her knowing.


 She stopped in the children's section and browsed at the winter gear and put several items in her basket  then she would move on down to the teen section and search to add to Loreal's wardrobe.  She turned around and spotted me looking at her.  First thing she said was, "Ma, you haven't found anything for you."  I smiled at her and didn't say a word.  She was lost in her "Loreal World."  Just trying to find something cute for her LoLo.  She asked me about a bright green polka dotted top for Loreal.  I said, "No, mija, LoLo doesn't like polka dots."  She put the top back on the rack and pushed her basket to the candle section.  By that time she was exhausted and said to me, "Ma, can you take me to the car and come back and pay."  I said yes and at the same time my eyes got watery just looking at her.  She looked like a 90 year old lady all hunched over and walking so slow.  I really wanted to cry but knew if I did it would make her feel sad so I didn't. 


On the way home she turned on the radio.  Music was blaring and Jeannette was singing as loud as she could.  Breast cancer was not going to ruin her day.  Afterall, she had six shopping bags full of things for her children.  She knew she would put a smile on their faces. 


Gosh, all this memory of her made me cry right now.