Merry Christmas Jeannette

🎄

Jeannette's nephews are now 10 n 11 years old. They were such little boys when she passed away but they remember her so well.  Jeannette left a most important impact on their lives.  She was a wonderful mom to her four children. We all miss her so much. As Christmas comes to us this week I get emotional just thinking of her n all the previous years before she passed that she made so memorable with her love for us. She loved decorating her home and making it so warm n welcoming.  She was known for wearing shorts in winter time. I would gasp when she would come visit me wearing shirts n flip flops. We would both laugh n at times she invited me to go eat ice-cream. I would ask her to put pants on n she would laugh n say she wasn't cold.  Jeannette was amazing n wonderful n I miss her so very much.  Merry Christmas in Heaven to my baby. My Nettle Poodle. 

THANK YOU JEANNETTE

There are so many things to be thankful for.  This is a big thank you to Jeannette.  Thank you Jeannette for being such a good daughter to me and an awesome mommy to your four children.  You gave so much love while you were here on earth.  We all miss you so much. 

Mothers Day 2017

Thinking of her on this Mothers Day.  I remember how she always sent me cards n flowers n sometimes would drive down to be with me.  She was a wonderful mommy to her four children.  Someday I know they will come to me n ask me all about her. Especially Shane n Conner because they were so young when she died.  Wish I could turn back time n be with her again.

MY HEART ACHES FOR HER

Well, here I am on this 12th day of January, 2017.  Just finished celebrating my birthday on the 9th.  After all was done on my special day, I went to bed feeling sad.  The feeling that is with me every single day of my life after my beloved Jeannette died.  My heart aches for her.  I do thank God for all my blessings.  Having my children and grandchildren here with me and now my great grandson, Noah too.  If I could have had my birthday wish come true, Jeannette would be here with me right now.

My dear dad is very sick and on Dialysis.  He is 89 years old.  If I could, I would take him on a very nice vacation but at this time he has to go to dialysis three times per week.  He mentioned to me that when he gets tired of going to treatments that he will let me know to stop and that he is anxious to meet up with my mom in Heaven.  It's his decision.  Jeannette never had that opportunity to make her final decisions about her life.  She was put into medically induced coma and given very strong pain medications to make her heart stop.  It was unfair and unjust.  I had no input into anything because her husband was in charge.  I wonder how he lives with himself knowing what he demanded from the doctors.  He was overheard on the phone call to his mother that he was so done with Jeannette's constant doctor visits, chemotherapy and radiation therapy appointments even though we all know he seldom accompanied her to them. 

As you can tell by this post, I still feel anger inside me regarding my beloved daughter's life.