JEANNETTE WAS WELL ORGANIZED

 Leaves begin to fall once again as the season is about to change.  Time to get out my winter clothes and hang them up to be ready for the cold weather. Everything has a time including clothes.  Now, my summer shorts, tops, bathing suits are about to disappear into big plastic bags. Oh, and all those sandals and flip flops too.


 It saddens me to know my dear Jeannette is not at her home preparing for the fall weather with her children in mind.  She was organized and kept her house neat and tidy.  I guess she got that from me.  She remembered being a little girl growing up in Fresno.


 When she was a toddler we lived on a street called "Normal" and then after that we moved to a street called "Emerson" and at last we moved to a street called "McKenzie" in Fresno.  In all three homes I had everything organized and tidy.  I had to because afterall, I did have three young children.  I sure loved being a mommy to them.


One cold winter day in 1972 our PGE power went out during our dinner time.  The children were seated at the table eating an enchilada casserole and salad when all of a sudden the lights went off.  Jeannette was still a baby sitting on her highchair and immediately started crying.  I reached over to small table next to me and opened the top drawer to get out the flashlight that I had placed there for such an emergency.  Then I opened the second drawer and pulled out big fat candles and placed them on the table and we all had light.  My precious baby Jeannette stopped crying and began tossing her enchilada bits from her plate.  I was happy.  Best of all, I really felt so smart to have prepared for an emergency such as what happened that day..


All three children realized that it is in the best interest of all the family to be well organized.   

HER BASKET WAS FULL

Already October 7, 2014.  The days are going by faster the older I become.  Yesterday, I was at the Fresno Fashion Mall shopping and sort of lost my energy so I sat down on a bench and rested for awhile.  I noticed so many young woman walking with their children and thought about Jeannette.  It's just not fair that she is gone and is not out and about with her children.


 She absolutely loved shopping.  During her last months on this earth she would wake up in the morning and say, "Ma, get ready, let's go shopping."  It certainly makes me smile when I think of her laughing with me and for quick moments forgetting she was dying. 


At the entrance to the stores she would try and reach for a basket but her energy level was very low so I would get in front of her and pull out the basket for her.  She wanted me to get one for myself.  She would say, "Ma, get anything you want."  Pobresita mija, she loved me with all her heart.  Of coarse I didn't put anything in the basket but instead followed her around the store without her knowing.


 She stopped in the children's section and browsed at the winter gear and put several items in her basket  then she would move on down to the teen section and search to add to Loreal's wardrobe.  She turned around and spotted me looking at her.  First thing she said was, "Ma, you haven't found anything for you."  I smiled at her and didn't say a word.  She was lost in her "Loreal World."  Just trying to find something cute for her LoLo.  She asked me about a bright green polka dotted top for Loreal.  I said, "No, mija, LoLo doesn't like polka dots."  She put the top back on the rack and pushed her basket to the candle section.  By that time she was exhausted and said to me, "Ma, can you take me to the car and come back and pay."  I said yes and at the same time my eyes got watery just looking at her.  She looked like a 90 year old lady all hunched over and walking so slow.  I really wanted to cry but knew if I did it would make her feel sad so I didn't. 


On the way home she turned on the radio.  Music was blaring and Jeannette was singing as loud as she could.  Breast cancer was not going to ruin her day.  Afterall, she had six shopping bags full of things for her children.  She knew she would put a smile on their faces. 


Gosh, all this memory of her made me cry right now. 

ANOTHER MONTH WITHOUT MY NETTLE

Last day of September 2014.  Another month without Jeannette. 


Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  You may not get what you want, but in the long run you will get what you expect.


A good life is a collection of happy memories.  My mind is filled with so many beautiful memories of Jeannette. 


Happiness is the experience of living a life you feel is worthwhile.  Yes, it certainly is.  I have ten grandchildren that I love very much. 


Love yourself and give away, all the love you can today.  That is exactly what I do everyday.  My life is centered around my family. 


It is better to earn the trust and respect of one of your children, than to gain notoriety and adulation of the masses.  WISH IT WOULD SINK INTO HIM.

SHE LOVED HER CHILDREN

I remember many years ago when Jeannette lived in Fresno and had Loreal and Mathew.  One day I happened to be in her neighborhood and just popped in to visit and chat with her awhile.  She was busy caring for Mathew.  He had a slight cold at the time and nothing could sooth him more than his mother's arms.  She held him close to her as she talked to me.  Mathew was so adorable and more than anything, I wanted to hold him in my arms.  He would not have it.  He loved his mommy and didn't want to let go of her. 


This is such a great memory of my beloved daughter.  She loved her children so much.

SOMEDAY

Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle that fits them all.- Denis Waitley




Monday morning and up early taking my grandchild to school.  He is a fine young boy of eight.  An obedient, curious, lovable child of God.  He has only one grandmother which is me and a great grandpa who lives in Corcoran, California.  However, he does have a grandpa that lives only 5 miles from him but has never had a relationship with him.  The grandpa chooses to live his life gambling and partying.  He is almost 70 years of age and has not once stopped to reflect on his life and see all the sins he has committed in this world. 


Fortunate to have children that are the complete opposite of their father.  Jeannette was loving and kind and nurturing to her children.  All four of them.  She worried so much about their future.


Thanks to God for Jeannette, Daniel and Diana that they have a loving heart and not self centered and sinful. 

MY DAUGHTER

  Sending millions of hugs and kisses to Heaven. That is where my beloved daughter is. 


Missing my Nettle Poodle.

FIVE YEARS AGO TODAY

On this day five years ago my beloved daughter lost her battle with breast cancer.  She left us all with such beautiful memories of her.  She had such a sweet sounding voice that always had something positive to say even in the most stressful times.  Her big brown eyes caught the attention of so many people and even during her last hard fought battle in August of 2009 they remained so beautiful.  Big and bright. 


Her children were the most important in her life and that is why after grueling radiation treatments she would come home and make them a big dinner, help them with homework or just sit and listen to them as they discussed their days events at school.  She worried about Loreal and who would be buying her school clothes after she died.  Also her oldest son Mathew who was rebellious at times and just couldn't cope with his mom being sick.  Shane was emotional when he would sit next to his mommy and Jeannette made sure to comfort him.  Conner, the youngest was not old enough to understand what was really going on but all he knew was that he wanted to be with his mommy. 


I miss Jeannette so very much.  Time has gone by too fast and it feels to me like it was just yesterday that she died.  I cope by writing about her on this blog.  It actually has saved me from really going into deep grief. 


Free from pain, my baby.  Free at LAST!!!!