A SHORT POEM OF MY THOUGHTS ON THIS DAY IN OCTOBER, 2009

I am home sick now with a sore throat and while I recover I decided to read some of my personal journals of Jeannette.  The following is a poem I wrote on October 1, 2009.  A month after she died.  A month full of profound grief.



My spirit died the day you died
Many days depressed as I lay here and cried
I go to work but it's not the same
I'm a walking zombie
With so many people to blame

I'm mad as hell at all the decisions regarding your life
The doctors, the surgeries, the pain is like stabbing me with a knife

I knew you would leave me at one point in time
Not by sedations or upping the pain meds, not like a crime

You never had a chance to say goodbye
I ask myself, Why, Why, Why

Days turn into nights and nights turn into a day
Maybe one day someone will pay