October 9, 2011: Saturday morning. Last night I covered myself with the quilt Jeannette had during her stay in the hospital. It was given to her by one of her friends. I managed to bring it home the day she died. Had it packed away in a box but last night I was thinking about her so much that I decided to cover myself with the quilt. It felt like her spirit was with me. I know it is hard for people to understand this but until you have been in my shoes you will never know the extreme pain and loss I have suffered loosing my beautiful daughter. I read a book that says that Love leaves a legacy. How you treated other people, not our wealth or accomplishments, it the most enduring impact you can leave on earth. Jeannette was that and more. She loved me, her family and friends. As Mother Teresa said, "It's not what you do, but how much love you put into it that matters." Love is the secret of lasting heritage. I suggest to everyone out there that when you wake up every morning, you kneel by your bed, or sit on the edge of it and pray this: "God, whether I get anything else done today, I want to make sure that I spend time loving you and loving other people- because that's what life is all about. I don't want to waste this day."
The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is "focused attention." And that is what I always gave to Jeannette. I was not there during her battle with cancer to see what I could get from her like her dad and his wife and her husband. It was to be with her and to love her and support her. I will go to my grave one day with no guilt. I know that I loved my children and grandchildren and family as much as I could. Love is what life is all about.
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