Right now it is October 15, 2011. Saturday morning. Another day has begun without my Jeannette. I reached for my cell phone on my night stand. Listened to my saved voice messages. It's Jeannette telling me not to worry about her and that all went well with her chemo that day. She said to me that she had no vomiting effects, etc. Then she said to me that she loves me and please go visit her. I have kept this voice message on my phone for two years. My phone is the same one she gave to me in 2007. It is scratched and looks old and outdated. I went to Verizon and asked them if they could transfer my voice messages onto a new phone and they said no. I walked out of the store with my old phone. A phone that has her voice that I can listen to anytime I want. I miss that voice. It soothes my deep pain of her loss. I did record her voice onto a cassette but it is not the same as having her with me all the time. I will keep my old phone until it dies out on me. I do not want to loose my baby's voice. People around me at work have the latest phones but I just stick to my old one.
The picture above is me way back in the day when I also was young and happy. I loved being a mother to my children. Still do.
I miss my Nettle Poodle.
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