When I look at this picture of her it brings back happy memories of us being at the Fresno Fair in 2008. I can't believe that two years have past. On November 5, 2011 it will be her 40th birthday. She died way too young. I still do not understand how and why she got cancer. The thing that bothers me most is how come it was diagnosed so late. She must have felt a lump long before and I wonder too how her husband could not have noticed it. I remember that about six months before she was diagnosed she called me and said she had a terrible case of the flu and had been sick for a week. Then, after that she said she felt tired all the time and that her wrist and right arm was in pain and she thought that maybe she injured herself at work. When she came to Fresno on Mother's Day she just did not look well. I noticed she was taking several pain pills and just wanted to rest. I asked her if she had gone to the doctor. She said that the doctor at Kaiser told her that her pectoral muscles were causing the lump on her chest. She told me to check and I did. What I felt was a very hard lump and my mind was racing as I was trying to control my emotions in order not to scare her. I calmly told her to go to a different doctor because she needed a second opinion. She did and that's when all Hell broke loose. I have never been the same. Loosing my Jeannette has had such an emotional impact on my life. I know that it has been two years since she passed but to me it seems like she just died yesterday. It hurts. The hurt is the kind I can't even explain. I know she is in Heaven and that comforts me. Here on earth I am just her mom missing her so very much.
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