Loosing My Baby

Loosing a child is the worst possible thing that can happen to a parent.  I would give up anything to have her back with me again.  It hurts so much.  I wake up each day thinking about her.  She was in so much pain and I could not do a damn thing about it.  The doctors gave her the strongest medications they could find and the pain was still there.  She couldn't even go to sleep because of the pain.  She would lie down on her bed sitting up and facing up.  Her life had to go on and she managed it as much as she could.  Unfortunately, there were others that were close to her but had other interests in mind.  I managed to block them out of my mind in order not to go ballistic.  She craved certain foods that I would immediately make possible for her to have.  She was slowly slipping away from me. I had to do whatever it took to help her.  Sometimes I drove to her home and sometimes I took the train.   One time I had a friend take me.   I just knew she needed me and I had to be there for her.  I told her I loved her each and every time.  My baby girl, damn I miss her so much.  There is no scientific reason for her to have gotten metastatic breast cancer.  There is no history of anyone in my family which includes descendants.  I wonder why and how.  She had everything that life could offer and she lived for her children.  I am distraught and angry as hell at this cancer.  It has devastated my world.  I shall never be the same.