She Went to the BackYard Late at Night.

During one of our deep conversations she told me that during the night when the pain would not let her sleep that she would go into Conner and Shane's room and watch them as they slept.  She would softly cry and wondered how they would cope without their mommy.  She pulled up their blankets and gently tucked them in and kissed them.  She said sometimes it was so depressing just knowing she would have to leave them that she would go out to the backyard and cry her eyes out.  Then she would compose herself and go back to her bedroom and open her bible and read and pray.  Before long it was already morning.  She said that one morning after the kids had gone to school, she went to the local mall and into a Make A Bear Store.  She purchased two bears and dressed them up in Dodger baseball uniforms and recorded her voice in each one.  In her message she said that whenever they need mommy to press the Bear's paw and that mommy would always be there for them.  She loved all her children.  Mathew and Loreal were teenagers.  She would find something for them too.  There was a big age difference in the ages of the children.  Each child reacted different with the news that their mom was going to die.  She had a special day of the week planned out for each one.  She had me help her organize four containers for each child with their own personal things in remembrance of her.  She was very ill at the time but so thoughtful and she loved her children so very much.