I am here alone and thinking about this picture. I am looking at it and asking myself how could this beautiful daughter be gone. Gone are the phone calls she made to me. She would tell me how much she loved me. Gone are all those visits she made to Fresno to see me and her sister and brother and nieces and nephews. Gone is the big hug she would give me every time she was around me. Gone are the compliments she would give to me when I cooked for her. Gone are all the worries she had regarding her children. Gone are the times when I least expected her to call and she would and she would say, "Ma, I bought that Patty Page album with the Christmas songs that remind me of my childhood." She would play the songs for me over the phone. She told me she remembered me bringing home cupcakes every time a holiday came up. Gone are all the tears she shed with all the extreme pain she had. My heart is breaking as I think right now how I shall never see her drive into my driveway with music blaring and honking to make me take notice. She will never come to my door and knock and say, "Ma, I'm here so hurry up so I can hug you." I have to stop this post now. My hands are shaking. I am crying a million tears right now.
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