I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM LETTING THIS DEMON FACE ON MY BLOG

The demon, Danny, Jeannette and Me

  We all received the sad news that her time was short. The cancer had spread in a most vicious way.  Her doctor told her there was nothing anyone could do for her.  She cried out for me on the phone.  All I could understand from her was "Mama."  She was crying and trying to talk to me at the same time.  I asked her to put her dad on the phone.  He got on and told me the devastating news.  It was Thursday night at around 9:00 p.m.  I drove over to Diana's to tell her.  We all got ready and left for Thousand Oaks.  She was up when we arrived.  I ran up to her and hugged her and cried and cried with her.  She was trembling.  Then Daniel and Diana came into the room and cried with her too.  That is one thing I shall never forget.  The look in her sweet face of being so scared to die.  She asked me to sleep with her and so I did.  Next day she announced to all that she wanted to go to Solvang, Ca. 

We all piled into her SUV.  I had never been to Solvang and she knew that so she told me all about the quaint little village town.  It was just like she had described it.  So peaceful and so beautiful.  We window shopped and talked about everyday things.  Then a bakery shop caught her eye so she hurried herself as best as she could.  Diana and Daniel and I followed her in.  She loved the cookies.  I enjoyed watching her eat the cookie with a twinkle in her eyes.  Then as we were walking around the town her dad caught up to us and so we took the picture you see above.  The black and pink jacket she is wearing is currently in my closet.  That is the one I wear when I want to feel as though she is hugging me.  It fits me snug but I still wear it because I imagine her hugging me.  The white piece of paper in her hand are the cookies she was eating.  I see her face not in pain but enjoying the walk and eating her favorite cookie.  This picture means so much to me.  It is the last picture she took of her mom and dad and her.  As time goes by, I look at this picture and want to photo shop and crop the demon out but something stops me from doing it.  I do not know what but it's still here in my album.
At that time, I was not even taking care of myself.  I was just being there for Jeannette and wanted to do anything to make her feel good.  Even taking this long trip to Solvang.  My baby, how I miss her, my Nettle Poodle.