As another year leaves my world and a new one about to make it's entrance, I continue on being me. I love my children and grandchildren with all my heart. I try and help out my family as best as I can. I will continue to get up early every morning and thank God for another day. I will go to work and put in my usual 8 hour shift. I will drive home alone and walk into my house alone and continue my life alone. It does not matter if I am surrounded by people during my day, I still feel alone. I am alone with my profound pain at loosing my Jeannette. No, I do not cry every single day and no I am not in deep depression. I am living day by day. Focusing on the positive. I miss her so much but what can I do. Nothing. The damage has already been done. The destruction of my happy life I had when she was alive. She was the most amazing child and so loving towards me. I hate so much the injustice she received during her battle with breast cancer. First of all, her uncaring monster of a husband. A useless piece of garbage. He tormented her, disrespected her even to her dying days in the hospice room. Someday, I know he will pay. Next, my ex husband, her father. He manipulated her and he had devious reasons for staying at her home, you see he talked her into changing her will. That man is a living demon. I regret marrying him. He has no relations with his children or grandchildren. He hurt them so much by not being in their lives and being a loving person. Instead he and his wife choose to worship money. Someday, he will also pay.
2012: Will be another year of me giving all that I can give to my family. Another year to Love God and to live a life being good and compassionate towards people. May God bless me with good health and may he help me to cope with the sadness I have missing my Jeannette. My Nettle Poodle.
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