Well, it's almost 2012. I pray and hope that 2012 will be a good year for me. Maybe I will have better days regarding my grief and that I continue to be healthy and strong. I noticed today how strong I am because I actually lifted a big heavy case of water and onto the trunk of my car. Then I picked it up again and brought it into my house. I manage to do everything by myself because there is nobody here to ask to do it for me. I was at work today talking about one of my dear friends and telling my co-worker what an awesome daughter my friend is to her dad. Her father has Alzheimer's and my friend has him at home taking care of him even though she works too. She had told me that she never wanted to put her dad in a convalescent home because she feared he would not be taken care of as good as she. Well, sad to say, I got a text message from her today. This morning at 7:30 a.m. she went into his room to get him up for breakfast and he would not wake up. She called out to her son to help her. Then they both realized her dad had died. Needless to say, she is totally devastated. Her love for her dad was like no other. She sang to him and she talked to him all the time even though his mind had left him long ago. She bathed him, dressed him, etc. And kept her full time job. Her sons helped her too. I called her today and we both cried on the phone. As I sat in my car in front of Target, I cried. I remembered my Jeannette and my mommy and those days right when I lost them and how awful and lonely I felt without them. We hung up about an hour later and I before I hung up with her I told her that I felt her pain. They say time heals but time has not done to much for me. I still feel tremendous sadness and I have days where I can't even get out of my bed.
I pray I have a good year in 2012. I know Jeannette wants that for me too.
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